


Petunia Evans and the Cute Punk Girl from Down the Lane

by Jsyrin, Rex_Lupin



Series: ToZverse [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition, ゼロの使い魔 | Zero no Tsukaima | The Familiar of Zero
Genre: Christmas Spirit, Crossover, F/F, Fluff, Garage Band Beginnings, Gen, London Is Weird, Lovegood Madness, Pre-Canon, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24875116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jsyrin/pseuds/Jsyrin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rex_Lupin/pseuds/Rex_Lupin
Summary: Petunia Evans. A normal girl in a normal house in a normal family... with an abnormal sister.Sachiel (de la Valliere). An idiot girl wearing ratty clothes and has a smile brighter than anything Petunia could have thought possible.She said she was on vacation away from her family.She said she hated her own family.They run away together (but not too far).Oh no?
Relationships: Pandora Lovegood/Xenophilius Lovegood, Petunia Evans/Sachiel
Series: ToZverse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625149
Comments: 24
Kudos: 77





	1. Petunia Evans Brings Home a Girl

1)

“You okay there, luv?” 

Petunia Evans looked up slowly from where she’d been crying in some random ditch she’d found- Cokeworth had a lot of those, and after having her parents praise Lily for her magic  _ again _ , she’d ran off and gotten herself all sorts of lost.

She shook her head and tried to ignore the person sitting next to her now, wiping her tears and sniffling harshly until a pale hand with midnight black nails intruded on her field of view with a wad of tissues.

“Y’look like you need a friendly face,” the person continued, gently pressing the tissues into Petunia’s hands and smiling. “I’m Sachiel. What’s your name?”

Petunia blinked slowly, barely noticing how the clouds seemed to clear away in that moment as she took in the other girl’s short hair, leather vest, and overall torn up clothes. She was… beautiful, Petunia thought, in a rebellious, improper sort of way.

"...Petunia," she said finally, after wiping her eyes and pretending that they hadn't been  _ that  _ wet after all. "You got a last name?" 

The girl had to actually  _ think  _ about that, and that was an answer in and of itself, even before she furrowed her brow and told her, "I dunno, luv. Maybe?" 

For a moment, Petunia thought of that horrid Snape kid down at Spinner's End, before she rolled her eyes and said in a sort of haughty manner, "Mine's Evans. My name is Petunia Evans and I'm perfectly normal, thank you very much." 

The girl - Sachiel, and that sounded like a  _ very  _ obscure name, giggled at her statement, and Petunia nodded in satisfaction. "Your parents were hippies, weren't they?" she asked pointedly. "The kinds of people with all sorts of weird ideas about parenting and naming their children? I read about it in a book once." 

Sachiel looked like she was about to burst out laughing, but she just shrugged. "Sure," she offered, "that works." 

Petunia nodded once again, and stood up. "I'm taking you to my place," she declared. "You will meet my parents, and my oh so perfect little sister, and you will be proof that I'm perfectly capable of bringing home lost puppies myself. Got it?" 

Sachiel snorted. "Ain't we doin' this backwards?" she inquired. "I thought I was s'posed to be the one who found a crying lass and brought her home?" 

"Maybe," Petunia allowed. "...You have any siblings?" 

"Too many," Sachiel agreed. "Why?" 

Petunia looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "Then you  _ have  _ to get why I must prove to Lily that I am once again as good as if not better than  _ her  _ in something?" 

Sachiel grinned. "Well why didn't you say so in the first place, luv? Let's go rub in our superiority!" 

“Right, let’s get on then!” Petunia grinned and stood up, strutting back towards home before pausing and looking about in confusion. “... Bollocks, I think I’ve forgotten which way my home is.”

"Any familiar landmarks you know?" Sachiel inquired, looking around herself and noting nothing particularly interesting.

Petunia hummed. "Well, if we can find the river, then I can probably look for Spinner's End and navigate from there... Goodness knows I've been spying on Lily enough around there." 

“What’s up with Spinner’s End that’s so worth it that your perfect older sister would go there so much?” Sachiel asked idly, clomping alongside Petunia in her heavy combat boots that Petunia  _ definitely _ wasn’t jealous of, no way no how. She much preferred her nice, normal, simple flats and there was no way she’d ever want to swagger anywhere near as much as Sachiel was at that moment.

“Eugh, she has a  _ friend _ there, but apparently they’re on the outs right now and perfect Lily’s been inconsolable about it,” Petunia rolled her eyes, snorting and huffing as she set her face into a heavy frown. "...Also,  _ I'm  _ the older sister." 

"Of course," Sachiel agreed. 

Petunia nodded imperiously and walked next to Sachiel, in a companionable silence. Then a curiosity occurred to her. "...Exactly how many siblings is too many, anyway?" 

Sachiel paused, counting.  _ Counting!  _ Petunia was  _ already  _ sympathetic. 

"Thirteen," the other girl finally said and  _ holy shit  _ was that a number. "Fourteen if you count the twins as two people. Fifteen if you count Tabris, but we don't count Tabris." 

Petunia put a hand on Sachiel's shoulder. "You have my absolute condolences," she said solemnly. 

“Your concern is appreciated,” Sachiel nodded along, clasping her hand over Petunia’s and bowing her head in a moment of silence before breaking the atmosphere with a snicker. “Heh, it’s alright though. Most of us have long since moved out of each other’s hair by now. We’re all a long ways from each other, so there’s not a lot of chances that they’ll show up to bother us.”

Petunia smirked. "Small mercies, then," she quipped. She looked around. "Oh look," she noted, "found the river. Town center is... upstream, Spinner's end is at the edge of town downstream..." 

Petunia eyed the river. "We're not in town, but I can see the smokestacks... We go upstream." 

“Upstream it is!” Sachiel grinned, letting Petunia lead the way as she whistled a jaunty tune and danced to a beat that only she could hear, boots thudding along noisily while chains rattled around on her pants and vest.

Petunia very carefully admitted to herself that being so carefree and unconcerned with propriety and being a normal girl seemed quite nice. But certainly not for her. 

But… maybe in small doses?

Yes, she decided. Small doses. Being in the other girl's company by itself didn't count. It was just company. Perfectly normal to have a friend. 

Yes. Perfectly normal. 

“Y’know, it actually does get a little nicer as we go upriver,” Sachiel observed idly, looking around the area as she took in the slowly increasing quality of housing that they passed- still obviously poor, but as they neared Petunia’s house the quality abruptly increased to the point that most of the houses actually had properly cared for lawns.

Petunia was quite proud of her own home’s lawn, of course. She’d spent a lot of time gardening in her spare time and her flower garden was blooming quite nicely this year.

"Another few centuries of care and pruning, and maybe it'll end up looking like a  _ proper  _ lawn after all," Petunia quoted with a slight smile on her face. She'd found the line in an older comic book, and had been quietly amused enough to pick it up for herself. 

"It's an  _ expression,"  _ she then snapped at the slightly perplexed look on Sachiel's face - the girl had looked as if she was perfectly willing to believe she'd live for centuries. What had her parents been  _ teaching  _ her? 

“Ohhh… right, yeah got it,” Sachiel nodded, re-affixing her slightly vapid smile as they approached Petunia’s home, whereupon Petunia immediately grimaced. Sachiel paused before they went up the steps, holding Petunia’s hand and halting her steps. “Hey, y’know if you don’t want to talk to your parents, y’don’t have to. Trust me, if something makes you pull a face like that, it’s better to leave well enough alone until tempers have cooled.”

Petunia considered that. "We've come this far," she pointed out. "Running away now is like... Is like..." 

“Hey,” Sachiel interrupted, gently squeezing Petunia’s hand and smiling. “I won’t say that you should force yourself to do something you don’t want to. But… if you think this is the right way to go, I’ll support you. Okay? So, if you wanna run away at any point, just let me know and we’ll go.”

Petunia stared at the hand holding hers, as if she'd forgotten it was there. "Sure," she said faintly. "...Let's go in." 

She opened the door. 

Inside, Lily was regaling their parents with stories of Hogwarts like she always did when she came home, smiling brightly even though Petunia could still tell she’d been crying- after all, she’d been silent the entire way back from the train station until their parents had given her enough chocolate to cure her mood.

Petunia hated that, honestly. She never got anything when she finished school, only a bland, halfhearted congratulations if her grades were good that semester, and there Lily was, always the perfect little  _ witch _ .

Sachiel’s presence at her back was a cold comfort as she grit her teeth and walked inside, barely keeping a lid on her mood as she tried to avoid attention as long as possible.

_ Naturally,  _ it was not to be. 

Lily had  _ just _ finished another  _ no doubt brilliant  _ story about how some  _ marauders  _ (yes, she  _ got  _ it, fancy word for pirates,  _ so  _ clever) had done  _ something  _ again, when she looked up. 

And locked eyes with Petunia. 

And  _ smiled  _ brightly. 

"Hey, Tuney! You left so suddenly - what happened?" 

Petunia closed her eyes and  _ growled.  _ She always did that! Pretend like nothing was wrong when  _ clearly,  _ many things were wrong!

"Holy shit, girl," Sachiel murmured behind her, "Read the fucking room." 

Honestly, Petunia agreed with the statement. 

Lily’s jaw dropped as she tried to process the profanity this strange girl had just uttered- who was she anyway, that she came home with her older sister with no warning?

“I- um… excuse me, who are you?” she asked, just barely managing to keep a polite smile on her face as she looked between Petunia and Sachiel. “.... And why are you with my sister?”

Mr. and Mrs. Evans frowned, clearly disapproving of Sachiel’s attire and general bearing, especially with how close she was with Petunia.

“Petunia, dear, why don’t you go wash up. Dinner will be ready soon,” her mother asked, phrasing it not as a question but a command, clearly expecting Petunia to go upstairs so they could interrogate her… friend.

Instead, Petunia crossed her arms. “You know, when Lily brought home that Snape boy, you two were all over him. Now, suddenly, when  _ I _ bring a friend over, you get to act judgemental? Hypocrites, the lot of you. And yes,” she raised her voice, “I’m including you in that,  _ Lily. _ ”

“What did  _ I _ do?” her  _ perfect little sister _ asked, as if she didn’t know. Or maybe she  _ actually _ didn’t know, which was honestly  _ worse. _

Petunia eyed her coldly. “...Are you  _ playing _ dumb or  _ actually _ dumb?”

“Petunia!” her mother gasped out, an affronted look on her face as her father started forward to try and grab her shoulders. “Apologize to Lily  _ right now _ or you’re  _ grounded!” _

Petunia grit her teeth and growled, turning around and stomping out the door. “You know what, forget about this! I’m leaving right now, and I’m not coming back until you lot figure out how to pull your heads from your arses! Sachiel, let’s go.”

Sachiel shrugged and slowly led Petunia out the door, rubbing her shoulders comfortingly even as she sent a poisonous, hateful glare back at the stunned trio of faces they left behind them.

"I shouldn't have brought you here," Petunia finally said as soon as they were outside. "I shouldn't have come myself, either. I... don't know what I expected." 

“... Family can be complicated,” Sachiel murmured quietly, still stroking circles on Petunia’s back as she led them away towards a quieter, less obviously affluent neighborhood. “I’m… really sorry I didn’t help more. I… I suppose I don’t really have the experience with family like that to really know  _ how _ to help. But we’re not going back for a little while, not until they can appreciate you for who you are.”

"Right," Petunia snarked, "because  _ that'll  _ happen." She sighed. "Let's just go. Where did you live, again?" 

Sachiel coughed awkwardly into her hand, clearing her throat and looking off to the side with something resembling shame. “I um… May have forgotten to mention that I’m… a bit homeless right now? Let’s just say that I made the bad decision to come here too quick-like and… well. Ain’t no one around what wants to lease out an apartment to a teenage punk with nary a penny to her name.”

Petunia turned her head,  _ slowly _ , looking Sachiel straight in the eye. "And you were doing  _ so  _ well," she sighed. "Right. Let me think for a moment..." 

She thought for a moment. 

"Who do I know we can crash with..." she muttered. "The Robertses are on vacation... Tom Harrison is...  _ weird _ around more than one girl... Mr. Langford trusts Mom a bit too much... Wait, no, I got it." 

Petunia looked up. "We'll go and see if old Mrs. Clarke can lend us a couch - she's usually fairly reliable about crashing in her home. Come on, she lives just around the corner." 


	2. Old Mrs. Clarke Goes On A Warpath

2)

Old Mrs. Clarke was, indeed, willing to lend a couch - she was in fact thrilled about Petunia 'making friends your own age, darling, you've looked awfully lonely these past few years', and suitably disappointed in her mom - 'I've told Heather time and again that she has  _ two  _ daughters, but will that daft girl listen?', so Petunia and Sachiel ended up with not only a couch, but a muffin each and a steaming cup of tea in front of them. 

"You didn't  _ have  _ to," Petunia said in a slightly uncomfortable voice, but Mrs. Clarke waved her off. 

"Oh tosh, little Petunia!" (Petunia protested that she wasn't little, and Sachiel giggled) "I bake muffins even when I don't have to and you know it. You just happened to step in during muffin season, darlings!" 

“Well, I suppose I can only be grateful. Thank you, Mrs. Clarke,” Petunia sighed, recognizing a lost argument when she saw it and deciding to just take her blessings as she came- after all, Mrs. Clarke might as well have been her grandmother given her insistence on feeding her every time Petunia so much as wandered across the sidewalk in front of her lawn.

“Yeah, thanks Mrs. Clarke,” Sachiel grinned happily, easily digging into her muffin with a moan of delight that may or may not have caused Petunia to suddenly wonder why the room seemed to be a few degrees warmer all of a sudden, and also wonder if Sachiel had actually  _ eaten _ in the time between when she first arrived and now.

Mrs. Clarke evidently thought the same, given how she tutted. "Miss Sachiel, when was the last time you ate something? I can hear your stomach growling from here! Also let me just get you some more muffins while you're at it." 

“O-oh um, tha-thanks Mrs. Clarke!” Sachiel blushed, gently holding one hand over her stomach and stuffing the rest of her muffin into her mouth as she mumbled around the half chewed pastry already there. “I um… may have… not eaten since I… got here…. A day or so ago…”

Petunia blinked. "Okay, how the hell do you  _ function _ ? One moment you're competent (and maybe kind of cute), next moment you show up without a plan and/or food. How does that  _ work _ ?" 

“My family likes to joke that we only have a single collective brain cell and it bounces around between us at random,” Sachiel shrugged, stuffing another muffin into her mouth as Mrs. Clarke snorted in amusement and poured Sachiel another cup of tea. “I’m pretty sure we all just have some kind of hyperactivity disorder and we can’t do anything competently unless it takes all our attention.”

“And now I wonder how you function at all,” Petunia muttered, taking another sip of tea.

Sachiel grinned and gently ruffled Petunia’s hair, giggling into her tea. “I don’t! I just go where I go and it’s worked out for me so far!”

Petunia made a face. "Watch the hair!" she complained. 

Mrs. Clarke smiled. "You seem like a natural sibling," she commented. “How big did you say your family was, again?"

“Bigger than any family should be, honestly,” Sachiel sighed, setting down her cup and rubbing her temples as she tried to explain her situation. “I’m the oldest of sixteen kids, and we’ve got nine more cousins and a bunch of relatives that none of us are really sure what our relationship is.”

"No wonder you're here," Petunia muttered in horror. "You got out of there as soon as you could." She placed a hand on the other girl's shoulder. "I know I said that before, but you have my sincerest condolences. Honestly." 

“It wasn’t so bad. We all love each other a lot, but I just needed a break, y’know?” Sachiel smiled softly at Petunia, forcing a small laugh out as she went for another muffin, while Mrs. Clarke made an excuse and headed back to her own sitting room- something about letting the kids talk on their own.

"Lot of that going on," Petunia murmured. "...Out of curiosity, what  _ were  _ you planning on doing here? And, even,  _ here.  _ Cokeworth isn't exactly, you know." She gestured vaguely with her hand. "Important." 

“Well… I don’t really know?” Sachiel shrugged and slipped off her boots, folding her legs beneath her as she thought about it. “My only real plan was to get far away from my siblings. Didn’t really matter where I went or how I did it. Just had to get out, get some peace… stop hearing them rutting all over the place all the damn time.”

Petunia  _ winced.  _ "Okay, that's... Entirely too much information, Sachiel. I didn’t need to know that. Ever." 

“Sorry ‘bout that, luv,” Sachiel shrugged, running her hand through her hair. “Growin’ up around a lot like my family leads to a lot of loose tongues about the topic of sex, y’know?”

Petunia took a deep breath. She thought for a long moment, then exhaled. "I wouldn't know," she mumbled. 

“... Ah, yeah,” Sachiel muttered in response, turning away and muffling her words into another muffin. “Sorry.”

"It's..." Petunia paused. "Well. It's  _ not  _ fine. But... Apology accepted." 

Sachiel nodded slowly, then sighed and leaned back on the couch, pursing her lips and twiddling her thumbs. “Y’know, luv. I was thinking… do you wanna get out of Cokeworth? I’m not exactly good on a lot of money right now but I know I still have enough for two train tickets. Maybe we could hit up London, see if there’s any place for two down on their luck girls there?”

Petunia thought about it. "Sure. But tomorrow. After emotions are less... heated. Is that okay with you?" 

“Yeah, that should be fine- hey, by the way… I didn’t say this earlier when we first met cuz I didn’t wanna sound like some creeper or nothin’ but,” Sachiel tilted her head at Petunia as she tapped her chin and chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I heard you mention something about a typing course down in London you were planning on going to?”

Petunia  _ stared _ , disturbed. “No, you still sound like a creeper. Even more of one, in fact. When’d you even  _ hear _ that?”

“Well, I was kinda standing around awkwardly for a while cuz I didn’t wanna intrude on your sulking like a weirdo and my hearing’s pretty good and you were  _ kinda _ loud about it?” Sachiel shrugged awkwardly, screwing up her face as she tried not to show just how embarrassed she was about having stood there for the better part of five minutes. “And then you started crying for real and I decided I  _ had _ to help.”

Petunia  _ sighed. _ “Right. You might as well kill me now while you’re at it...”

“There there, Petunia. You can mope about later,” Sachiel rolled her eyes with a soft smile, patting Petunia on the back before drawing her into a hug. “Anyway, the important thing is if you’re all dead set on going to that typing class we actually have an excuse to run off down to London that isn’t just me wanting to go see a bunch of underground concerts.”

Raising an eyebrow, Petunia considered that. “You have a point,” she allowed. “But, again, tomorrow. Right now, I want to lay down on a couch,  _ rest, _ and see what’s gonna happen in the morning. Okay?”

“As the lady wishes,” Sachiel grinned and made a mocking bow, gently turning off the lights in the living room and flopping down into the massive plush armchair next to the sofa. “G’night Petunia. See you in the morning.”

<>

Morning dawned over Cokeworth, and with it, Mrs. Clarke. She looked in on little Petunia and her new friend, smiled fondly, and marched off to the Evans house. 

Three sharp knocks, two minutes of waiting, another three knocks and several repeats of that finally brought a bleary-eyed Lily Evans to the door. "Hullo Mrs. Clarke," the teenager yawned. "What brings you here, uh..." she looked around. "...at the crack of dawn? Mom and dad are still asleep..." 

"Oh,  _ are  _ they now?" Mrs. Clarke questioned sharply. "Were they perhaps up late? Did they have a late night walk?" 

Confusion crept into Lily's sleepy stare. "...no...? We all went to sleep at the normal time..." 

Mrs. Clarke's sharp expression grew stormy. "You weren't worried about your sister? At all? Was Heather? Was Harry?" 

At last, light dawned. "Wait... Wait, Tuney! I thought she crept back home at night like she usually-? Oh no!" Lily was now wide awake, staring at Mrs. Clarke with wide eyes. "Did something happen to her? Is she hurt? Was she attacked by someone? Oh, it's all my fault she ran off again..." 

Mrs Clarke remained unimpressed. "She and her friend slept on my couch," the old woman said coldly. "They're fine, physically at least. Petunia  _ was  _ rather upset, however." She marched forwards and past Lily, making a beeline for the kitchen. "Now why don't I let myself in and  _ you  _ explain to me just  _ why  _ your sister feels so left out of your family that she's perfectly willing to run away with the first person her age that shows any type of concern for her?" 

“W- what? I never left Petunia out of anything!” Lily protested weakly as she followed Mrs. Clarke, her brow furrowing in consternation. “She always just runs off and never wants to talk to me! It’s always been like that even when we were kids!”

Mrs. Clarke sighed and put the kettle on. "And do you have any ideas why that might be?" 

Lily shrugged, shaking her head and sitting down at the table as she crossed her arms. “I don’t know what goes on in her head. I try to talk about my day or my school year to her these days and she just scoffs at me for no reason.”

Mrs. Clarke sighed. “Lily, you go to  _ an ancient and prestigious boarding school _ and she doesn’t. Has it occurred to you that you might sound like you’re  _ bragging? _ Like you’re rubbing her face in the fact that you got to go and she didn’t?”

“... Well… when you put it like that,” Lily muttered, pursing her lips and sighing as she slumped against the table, now revising everything she’d ever said to her sister in her mind. “I just thought I was being nice…”

"Your parents, mind you, don't help either," Mrs. Clarke mentioned, pouring herself a cup of tea. "I've been telling Heather for  _ years  _ that she has  _ two  _ daughters, not one, but does she listen? No she doesn't. Is it any wonder, I ask you?" 

“... Now that you mention it… mum and dad are always a lot harder on Tuney than they are on me… I thought it was just because I’m the baby sister,” Lily sighed again, watching as Mrs. Clarke bustled around the kitchen and prepared a light breakfast for the two of them. “Do you want me to help with that, Mrs. Clarke?”

“Be a dear,” Mrs. Clarke nodded. “I came to have a  _ chat _ with the deaf ears of Heather, naturally, but  _ you _ may just have some hope yet.”

“Well… I suppose I can be thankful for that much,” Lily muttered as she stood up and gently took the pan from Mrs. Clarke, humming quietly as she dropped some toast into the pan and cracked a few eggs in as well. “Is eggs in a nest alright?”

"It's your kitchen," Mrs. Clarke pointed out. "I'm simply making noise here so that..." she cut herself off and stepped in front of the doorway. "There we are," she declared. 

Mrs. Evans, who had been ambling towards the kitchen by her nose, froze. "Amanda Clarke," she greeted, suddenly wide awake and looking worried. 

"Heather Evans," Mrs. Clarke replied frostily. "Can you take a guess why I'm here?" 

Heather thought for a moment. And another moment. And another one. Lily... noticed. 

" _...Mum,"  _ she whispered. 

Mrs. Evans' face lit up. "Oh! You noticed that Lily is back from boarding school? She's so incredibly talented, you know. Top of her class, too, or so she tells me!" 

Mrs. Clarke cast a pointed stare towards Lily, who looked a mix of heartbroken and horrified. "No," she replied dryly, "as a matter of fact I'm here about your  _ other  _ daughter. You  _ do _ remember that you have more than one child,  _ right _ , Heather?" 

"Oh, right," Heather muttered. "Apologies, Amanda, I'm still not quite awake yet. What did she do this time? Oh, is it about the wastrel she tried to bring home yesterday? Absolutely awful dress sense and a filthy mouth too - I wouldn't be surprised if they got drunk and passed out in your garden or something."

Mrs. Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose. "Funny," she snapped. "You sound remarkably unconcerned, Heather. Almost as if you didn't give any fucks if your eldest daughter was okay or not." She smiled grimly. "Do excuse my language, I simply get so irrationally angry whenever I see your idea of parenting." 

“Mum what are you  _ talking _ about?” Lily almost whispered, staring at her mother in absolute shock. “It’s  _ Tuney _ we’re talking about here! Why are you- why are you talking about her like that!?”

Heather started. "Oh! Lily! You're awake! How did you sleep? Nightmares? No?" She sounded slightly panicked. "...How long have you been here?" 

“I’ve been here the whole time, mum,” Lily deadpanned, her frown only deepening at her mother’s awkward attempts to save her own hide. “Don’t try to change the subject. Why do… why are you treating Tuney like that?”

Heather's eyes flicked from Mrs. Clarke, who looked highly unamused, to Lily, who looked extremely worried. "...What has Amanda been telling you, Lily?" she deflected again. 

“She’s told me enough!” Lily shot back, glaring at her own mother for the first time in her life. “Tuney  _ hates us _ ! We treated her like arse and now she’s running away with someone she just met because you and dad treat her like she’s worthless and I never even realized I was doing the same thing!”

“It’s nothing on Petunia  _ really, _ ” Heather attempted to diffuse the situation. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s okay for a first try, but-”

“.... I cannot  _ believe _ I’m hearing this!” Lily all but exploded, turning quite red in the face as she immediately turned around and stormed out of the kitchen, sprinting upstairs and making quite a racket as she started screaming obscenities both at Heather and at her father, who’d since woken up from the noise downstairs. “I’m out! You two may not care about my sister but I still do!”

“And to think,” Mrs. Clarke mused, “that all I had to do was get through to  _ Lily _ and the rest would start resolving itself into a neat little pile. I could have avoided  _ years _ of your deaf ears trouble that way...”

“... I think it’s high time you left, Amanda,” Heather murmured coldly, gently pushing Mrs. Clarke towards the door and wincing at the crashes she heard from upstairs, followed shortly after by Harry’s voice weakly trying to reason with Lily, only to be immediately drowned out by her stomping down the stairs, red faced and indignant, while carrying a pair of trunks- her own expensive and high quality school trunk and a significantly more used looking one that Petunia owned.

“Lily, where are you going!?” Heather spoke out in shock, watching as Lily struggled with the cases, full of spittle and determination even as she ignored Heather’s words. 

"Do you want help with that?" Amanda inquired, looking highly amused and not at all bothered about Heather trying to throw her out of the door. 

“Yes please!” Lily grit out, huffing and puffing as she dragged both trunks out of the door, pausing just long enough for Mrs. Clarke to grab the lighter of the two and help her out. “Goodbye mother! I’ll come back when you learn how to appreciate  _ both _ of your children!”

Amanda Clarke hesitated for just a moment on the doorway, hints of an amused smile playing on her lips. "If I were a nicer woman," she told Mrs. Evans, "I'd say nothing. As it stands, however -  _ I told you so."  _ And with a cheerful wave, she walked out of the door. 

"...Was that  _ really  _ necessary, Mrs. Clarke?" Lily asked almost reproachfully. 

  
"Oh, of course it was," Mrs. Clarke replied cheerfully. "I've been wanting to do something like this for  _ years!"  _


	3. The Sisters Talk

"...So let me get this straight," Petunia said in disbelief. "You went to my home, intending to 'talk to' my mom and get my things, and instead came back with  _ my _ trunk,  _ Lily's _ trunk, and  _ Lily herself?"  _

"...I'm right here," Lily murmured. Petunia ignored her. 

"Well, dearie, I suppose I did," Mrs. Clarke smiled. "Seems like your sister, who in fact had a bad case of selective obliviousness, was in fact capable of coming to her senses and decided to move out. Who knew?" 

"...Wow," Petunia muttered. "You're officially my favourite person, Mrs. Clarke." 

“Look,” Lily decided to cut in, sighing to herself as she set down her trunk and stepped forward so she could face Petunia directly. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you the way I did. And I know I’ve said a lot of things over the years that sounded like I was bragging, but I never meant to come across that way. I know… I know now that mum is a bit of an arse and she favors me more than anything but… I still love you, Tuney. You’re my sister and I only want us to be friends.”

Petunia gave her sister a  _ long  _ look. "...You're hopelessly naive if you think a single apology will instantly undo years of hurt," she said coldly, watching her little sister draw away from her. 

She sighed. "But it's a  _ start _ ." 

Lily breathed a sigh of relief, smiling a bit as she held her arms open for a hug. “I… understand how you feel. And I really, truly am sorry. But… in the meantime… do you want a hug, Tuney?”

Petunia sighed. "Not right now and not from you. Sorry, Lily. I'm... Not in the mood right now." 

Lily pouted, but accepted that. Then she noticed Sachiel. "Oh, hello! You're the one who swore at me yesterday. What's your name?" 

“.... Sachiel,” the aforementioned Angel answered, staring at Lily in confusion for a long moment before finally snapping back to attention. “Technically don’t have a last name right now, but if events pan out alright I might end up with a French family name.”

"That's a  _ really  _ obscure name," Lily mused - exactly like Petunia had, actually. Her eyes lit up. "Wait, is your family...?" 

“We’re all a very strange lot, yes. Fond of old hebrew names for some reason,” Sachiel muttered, sighing as she leaned against the door frame. “Well, except the parts that are either in Japan, or Germany. I’m… reasonably sure none of us count as hippies, though. Probably. Maybe.”

Lily blinked. "...Hippies?" 

"It is a reasonable explanation," Petunia pointed out, arms crossed defensively. "Or at least  _ was _ . But at least the Hebrew thing... Explains several things. If not others. But I'm making  _ actual effort  _ to not be nosy for once, so I  _ won't ask."  _

"No," Lily disagreed, "I mean, is her family, uh..." She glanced at Mrs. Clarke, who rolled her eyes and retreated into her own kitchen. "Like, yknow,  _ me?"  _

“... I- hm.” Petunia blinked slowly and turned to face Sachiel, who simply tilted her head in response, not quite sure what Lily was getting at. “... That… um.”

“... Mind filling me in on what it is you’re wondering about?” Sachiel asked, scratching the back of her head and looking between the two sisters. “Because I’m starting to think that I’m missing out on something important.”

Lily eyed Petunia if she was afraid her sister would explode at any moment. "...What is the first thing you think of when I say the word... 'magic'?" 

“Oh-! Ohhh, yeah that explains that,” Sachiel nodded, completely understanding what Lily was saying. “Nah, none of my family are crazy enough to be stage magicians. We’re flashy and stupid, yeah, but… well. Let’s just say that none of us are very good at that sort of thing.”

Or not.

Petunia snickered. “Oh yes, Lily is  _ absolutely _ an assistant to one of those flashy showoffs.” Lily shot her a betrayed look. “Somehow I doubt you’d pull off the look though, Sachiel.”

“Never was one for suits, honestly,” Sachiel nodded, grinning almost vapidly as Lily just palmed her face, took a deep breath, and decided to roll with it. 

“Y’know what, fair enough,” she muttered, before gently pushing past Sachiel and Petunia so she could set her trunk down. “But enough of that- Tuney, Sachiel… what are your plans going forward? Y’know, what with you storming out of the house and all- I packed your wallet and all into your trunk, but there’s not really enough in there that you can afford to just… run off without a job.”

Petunia sighed. "I have a typing course lined up in London, not that you or Mom would care or anything, but yes, I need a job when there. Sachiel here on the other hand..." 

"Kind of just wanted to go where the wind took me," the girl grinned. "Wonder if London has any underground fight clubs..."

“Okay, well, one: Sachiel those are illegal for a reason and if you get caught at one you’ll be arrested,” Lily pointed out, then turned to Petunia and chewed her lip. “I don’t think I can help in your situation… but… I  _ might _ be able to do something about it once the break is over. Just maybe. If you’d like that.”

"Once break is over, you'll be back at your overly holier than thou boarding school," Petunia pointed out with only mild distaste. "What could you  _ possibly  _ be able to do there?" 

“I can guilt trip a rich tosser who’s been bullying me into giving me money,” Lily deadpanned, frowning and crossing her arms a bit. “Honestly, the jerk deserves it for the absolute hell he put Severus through, not that I want to talk about either of them right now.”

"And I," Petunia declared, "don't want to know. Also, I think we might have strayed quite a bit off topic, here. What  _ now?"  _

“Well, I have enough money beaten out of that Potter arsehole to get you two to London and maybe get a room at a hotel for a month, perhaps, but other than that, I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll stay here for a while, perhaps I’ll come with you and book a room at the Leaky Cauldron until school starts,” Lily answered, shaking her head and shrugging. 

“If worse comes to worst, I think I can ask some of my family to come by and give me a hand, at least until we get on our feet,” Sachiel mentioned idly, picking at her nails and trying to look like she wasn’t interested in Lily’s offer. “Petunia, that typing course of yours- does it come with anything else? A place to stay maybe?”

Petunia shook her head and sighed. “Unfortunately, no. But if I do well enough I might be able to get a job somewhere and actually afford an apartment, so long as you can figure out something as well.”

Sachiel pondered that for a moment. "I think I could help, ish... Uh. As long as you don't  _ ask  _ for purposes of plausible deniability?" She smiled awkwardly. 

“.... If it’s something illegal I’m going to ask that you  _ don’t _ ,” Petunia sighed, pinching her brow and shaking her head. “I realize that your family situation is odd and your upbringing odder but I would sincerely hope that you don’t intend on committing any crimes.”

"...why  _ is  _ personal combat for money illegal anyway?" Sachiel asked plaintively. "It's literally the most honest form of self-expression out there!" 

“It’s only illegal if you do it in some kind of underground ring with no regulations,” Lily pointed out from the couch, raising her finger as if lecturing Sachiel. “If you go through the proper channels, boxing is quite a respectable profession… though I don’t think you’re allowed to if you’re a woman.”

Sachiel nodded solemnly. “So we must tear down the patriarchal system first. Got it. Also, I think I can play guitar in the meantime... I just have to  _ find _ one first...”

“... I think we might be able to get one pretty cheap from a second hand store,” Petunia mumbled, thinking out loud as she sat down and crossed her legs on the armchair next to where Lily sat on the couch. “Maybe you could play music in a public park for tips until women’s boxing becomes an actual sport.”

“Clearly, we have to fight God,” Sachiel grinned.

“I’m pretty sure our mother would say you’re doing that already with how you dress,” Lily deadpanned, rolling her eyes at Sachiel’s bravado. “And I’m pretty sure women’s boxing is getting there- I’ve heard news on the radio that there’s some people advocating for a women’s boxing association.”

“Clearly, we have to fight patriarchal oppression,” Sachiel corrected herself immediately. “Could be fun.”

“Or, you could wait a few years and see if women’s boxing becomes an actually sanctioned sport in London,” Petunia sighed, already tired of Sachiel’s complete lack of ability to take any facet of life seriously. “Dismantling oppression is all well and good, but I doubt that any one person could really do that much about it.”

“...not  _ one _ ,” Sachiel agreed. “Bet we can find _ lots of other _ oppressed people tho, can’t we?”

“... Let’s put a pin in that for now,” Petunia sighed, then looked down at her already packed trunk, then at the clock ticking on the wall. “Hmm… if we leave now, we can probably make the noon train down to London. The station’s not too far from here, and we can even buy some lunch there, I think.”

"Then let's do that!" Sachiel declared, striking a pose. "Er... You don't mind, do you, Mrs. Clarke?" 

"Oh, not at all, dearie," Mrs. Clarke spoke from the doorjamb, making the two sisters yelp and stare at each other. "Go fight the good battle for womankind - I'll hold the fort and keep an eye on your parents." 

“Thanks, Mrs. Clarke. For everything,” Petunia nodded, smiling at the older woman as she picked up her trunk and walked out the door, followed shortly by Sachiel and Lily. “We’ll come visit when we can. Goodbye, Mrs. Clarke.”

<>

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever actually ridden this line before,” Sachiel murmured as she watched the countryside roll past, staring out the window in awe as the train rumbled down the tracks. 

“...Then exactly how did you get to Cokeworth in the first place?” Petunia asked suspiciously.

Sachiel paused.

“I er… um…” she looked around, rubbed her arm, bit her lip… looked around again.

“I kinda…” Sachiel blushed as she looked at the floor, twiddling her thumbs and trying not to look or sound like the idiot that Petunia already knew she was. “... I kinda fell asleep in the back of a truck and then I got thrown out after the owner stopped in the middle of town for petrol…”

Petunia  _ sighed.  _ "Sachiel, let me put it bluntly. You're an idiot. Thankfully," she added, schooling her face over the kicked puppy look the other girl was sporting, "I seem to inexplicably become fond of you, so you have that going for you." 

"So you could say," Lily added slyly, "that she's  _ your  _ idiot?" 

Petunia looked at Lily, then back at Sachiel. Back at Lily. Back to Sachiel, who was staring at her with a slowly growing smile. Back to Lily, who was grinning smugly. Back at Sachiel.

“....” Petunia sighed and rubbed her forehead again, grumbling under her breath as she tried not to spit some very inventive curses at her sister. “ _ Sure _ . Let’s go with that.”

She abruptly found herself in a hug. "Sweet!" the hugger, who was probably Sachiel, squeed. "I've never  _ been  _ anyone's idiot before!" 

“... I find that  _ increasingly _ hard to believe the longer you’re around me,” Petunia just sighed again, letting Sachiel hug her and squeeze her tight, smiling despite the content of her words. Ah, so this was what genuine affection felt like.

“I mean,” Sachiel babbled, “My family is usually a generic random collection of idiots, so being someone’s specific idiot is kinda cool, you know what I mean?”

“... That makes a lot more sense than it really should, and now I worry for your health,” Petunia sighed once more, deciding to finally wrap her arms around Sachiel and hug her in return. “Are you sure you’re okay? Your family situation sounds like you… maybe might not have grown up around the best influences.”

Sachiel took a  _ deep _ breath. “I’ve decided I want to talk about  _ anything _ else right now.”

“... Right, well, alright then… But, if you do ever want to talk about it, I promise to listen,” Petunia murmured, leaning back in her seat and letting a calm, slightly awkward silence fill the cabin, only broken by the sound of the train rumbling along through the English countryside.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sachiel nodded. “Right now I just wanna... I dunno. Lean back and watch the world go by?”

“Well, feel free to do so,” Petunia shrugged, shifting a bit so Sachiel could see out the windows without letting go, pointedly ignoring Lily’s quiet giggles on the other side of the train compartment. “I won’t stop you.”

Sachiel opted not to answer, simply leaning back against Petunia, completely oblivious of the faint blush that action elicited.

“Ah, so that’s which way you swing,” Lily murmured quietly, just loud enough for Petunia to hear.

“Lily!”

“Kidding~”


	4. Two Girls Rent A Place

“So this is London,” Sachiel observed. “It’s... crowded.”

“It always is,” Lily nodded idly, yawning as she stepped out of King’s Cross with Sachiel and Petunia and immediately began walking away. “Well, I’m off to go stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a bit before school. You two have fun! Oh! And Tuney! Make sure that when you find a place to stay, there’s enough room for two!”

Petunia flipped her sister off on reflex, before looking around. “I think... that way,” she decided.

“By your lead, milady!” Sachiel grinned and let Petunia lead the way, following along by her side and carrying her trunk for her since Sachiel had absolutely nothing else to carry and was apparently much stronger than her skinny noodle arms would have suggested. Though, perhaps Petunia was just bad at judging muscle density.

“Indeed,” she declared haughtily, “I shall lead as only a lady of my stature knows how.”

...and marched them both straight into a dead end alleyway. “Correction,” she sighed. “I shall  _ not _ lead the way.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have taken that left,” Sachiel observed, scratching her head as she looked around, then turned and began walking towards the exit… only to immediately have their path blocked off by a very burly looking man wearing a slightly dilapidated outfit. “Uh.”

“You lil’ ladies lost?” the burly man asked, scratching his bum as he settled against the alley wall amidst a pile of what had initially looked like random garbage, but was now more apparent as a homeless person’s collection of belongings. “Cuz y’don’t look like y’should be around here.”

"Are you going to let us leave?" Petunia asked sharply. "This is the important point here. Because if yes, we'll happily accept directions." 

“Well, if yer lookin’ for a place t’live, there’s an old tenement near here. Looks a lil shabby but it’s solid and clean, owner lets us down on our luck folk sleep there when the weather’s bad,” the burly man shrugged, pointing vaguely in the right direction. “It’s jus’ across from the Tesco three blocks down that way. Can’t miss it. Has a  _ really _ weird lookin’ shrub outside that kinda looks like a face.”

Sachiel smiled. "Thank you kindly, mister! We'll be sure to check it out!" She linked arms with Petunia and dragged her towards the indicated direction, somehow managing to wave to the man while also dragging Petunia’s trunk behind her. 

“... Somehow I  _ refuse _ to believe we’re  _ that _ lucky,” Petunia muttered as soon as they were out of earshot, her brow furrowed in thought as she considered the likelihood of a random hobo appearing and giving them actually useful advice. “How did he even know we were looking for a place to live anyway?”

"Probably saw the trunk and we don't actually look like tourists," Sachiel chirped. "I don't think everything is a conspiracy, y'know?" 

“One can never be too careful- two teenage girls traveling London alone is an easy target for all sorts of unsavory people,” Petunia murmured, sticking closer to Sachiel now as she looked around in order to try and spot anyone that looked shady. “I’d rather not end up kidnapped, if it’s all the same to you.”

"Don't worry," Sachiel grinned. "If it comes down to that, I'll protect you!" 

“... Sachiel, you might be strong enough to lift my trunk without getting out of breath but I’m not entirely sure how that translates to being able to protect the both of us,” Petunia sighed, rolling her eyes a bit at Sachiel’s bravado. “I appreciate the sentiment, though. Just… try not to do anything stupid if it comes down to it, okay?”

Sachiel frowned. "...I can promise I'll try?" she offered. "Besides, I can totally fight!" 

“... Well, considering you wanted to get into boxing, I suppose I can only say that I believe you for now,” Petunia shook her head and sighed again, then perked up when she saw the Tesco. “Ah, perfect. The tenement building should be just up ahead. I’d have preferred a full apartment, but… well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and I’m certainly not going to try and afford an apartment with what little I have saved up.”

"Neat," was Sachiel’s contribution. "I've never been to a tenement before, how does it work?" 

“You-I-” Petunia sighed  _ again _ , wondering why this was her life now as she tried to come up with the right words. “Right, I forgot you grew up isolated. It’s the same concept as an apartment except it’ll be cheaper because we’ll have to share the entire floor with other people instead of getting a good sized space for ourselves. This close to King’s Cross we’ll probably at least get our own bedrooms, but we might need to figure out how to live around other people in the communal space.”

"Oh, that part shouldn't be that hard then," Sachiel chirped. "I have tons of experience living around other people!" 

“Well, that’s good,” Petunia nodded, taking a deep breath as she strode up the steps to the door of the tenement and opened it, immediately walking into a well lit, although a bit dated and a little worn, lobby almost like a hotel, though obviously not.

Sachiel followed along quietly, a small furrow forming in her brow as she looked around curiously. “This place has a weird...  _ tingly _ feeling,” she finally said. “I have no idea what that is.”

“Tingly?” Petunia asked, walking up to the receptionist before shaking her head and sighing. “I’m not feeling anything. Whatever it is, it’s probably not that bad- maybe it’s dust allergies?”

“Maybe,” Sachiel murmured. “...maybe.”

Sachiel sat demurely in the corner as Petunia went through the motions of getting them set up with a room- surprisingly, despite being right next to a high traffic area, the tenement had almost the entire third floor empty, and the people who did live there only stopped by for about three months of the year before leaving again, despite still having the lease.

After an unnecessarily long time, during which Petunia paid for their first month’s rent and Sachiel ended up nearly falling asleep on the couch out of boredom, the two of them finally managed to haul themselves up to the third floor, upon which they found… an empty set of rooms connected to a common sitting room and a well stocked kitchen, as well as all the general furnishings one could ask for- shower, laundry, even a small television set in one corner of one of their empty rooms- Which Petunia immediately claimed said room for herself, and let Sachiel have the other one. 

“This is neat,” the punk noted. “...I’ll go take a shower,” she decided. “Seeya in a few.”

“Do so,” Petunia decided, looking around her room before just laying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling. “I’m... independent,” she decided. 

“ _ Sweet. _ ”

<>

The next day, right as Petunia finally woke up and dragged herself out of bed, she awoke to an empty floor, some cold English breakfast on the table, and Sachiel… who immediately stumbled into the tenement floor with a bagful of groceries, a drunken smile on her face, and a suitcase full of clothes. “Tuney! I got stuff!”

“Did you  _ pay _ for that stuff?” Petunia asked immediately. “And... have you been drinking? Where on Earth did you get the money for it?”

“I paid for the groceries and my nearby family dropped off my suitcase!” Sachiel answered, gently setting down the groceries on the kitchen counter before flopping to the ground. “I dunno when I got drunk, but I think it was when I found booze in the fridge this morning! Turns out! I’m bad at telling vodka apart from fancy water!”

Petunia paused, and rolled her eyes. "I think the vodka is here as a cheap disinfectant," she suggested dryly. "Also, why would a cheap tenement have fancy water?" 

“I unno, thought the other people who live here left it behind,” Sachiel shrugged, giggling incoherently as she waved her hands in the air. “Wooooo… everything feels… spiiiiinny~”

"You should probably drink some  _ actual  _ water," Petunia suggested. "Hydrate. Then hopefully I can deal with a  _ less  _ hungover you." 

“Right, right… lemme… do that…” Sachiel groaned, shimmying her way into the kitchen and making Petunia wince at the trail she left behind- apparently, neither of them had noticed just how  _ dusty _ the floor was the previous evening, and now Sachiel was paying for it. “Hehe… floor smells… oooold…”

"It does look like a very old building," Petunia mused as she fetched a mop. "God, how did I miss this much dust!?" 

“It was dark n’ stuff an’ we were tired?” Sachiel asked, barely managing to drag herself up to the sink and drink a few glugs of probably dirty tap water from the faucet. Petunia tried not to make a face- first thing they’d need to do would be get some bottled water, and probably some cleaning supplies. Bathroom supplies as well.

"Right," she decided. "I'm going to the nearest store and getting everything we need to keep  _ clean.  _ You're staying  _ here  _ and will do your best to  _ sober up.  _ Got it?" 

“Yes maaaa’am~” Sachiel giggled, hiccuping slightly as she gulped down some more water, then immediately wobbled over to the slightly ratty couch in the living room, flopped down bonelessly, and immediately passed out dead to the world.

Petunia  _ sighed. _ “She’s clueless,” she told herself. “She’s grown up isolated. She’s not one of  _ them. _ She’s just a loveable idiot.”

She sighed and got to work.

Finding a place to buy all the things she needed was easy- there was a Tesco across the street after all, though the amount of money she actually had meant that she was probably going to have to skimp out on some things. She supposed she could buy cheaper soaps for the shower, since it wasn’t like she needed to dress up fancy for anything. It was still annoying, though.

Actually cleaning things, however...

She considered that in about five years, she’d be an expert on the matter. Now, on the other hand, she... wasn’t.

An hour of scrubbing and other manual labor meant that the floor looked okay and the kitchen and bedroom looked a lot more livable. The bathroom was... not a pit, and the living room she’d given up on, especially considering her hopefully sobering roommate, whom she’d tried to move earlier and had a significantly lowered confidence in her strength as a result.

That said, she  _ had _ tried unpacking Sachiel’s suitcase, found a family photo, and only gotten reinforced in the belief that while the girl’s family was  _ extremely weird, _ they were  _ probably _ not, well, some of  _ them. _ Even if there was a ridiculous amount of strange hair colors.

Wizards, Petunia found, tended to dress in extremely awful robes or some kind of strange, out of date approximation of normal people clothes from fifty years ago. Sachiel’s family, fortunately, just looked like a ragtag bunch of punks, hippies, and general weirdos who each individually chose an aesthetic to follow and then stuck with it no matter how chaotic it made the resultant family photo.

The conclusions she drew from the entire thing were as follows. 

First, Sachiel’s parents had never heard of anything resembling birth control. Or restraint for that matter. 

Second, her opinion of the girl's mental fortitude rose sharply - anyone who could grow up with so many siblings and still remain sane, more or less, was made of stronger stuff than the average person. 

Third, the entire family looked... Strangely wholesome. 

Even with the general chaos, the sheer amount of subtle pranks going on in every corner of the picture, and also what looked like someone flashing their breasts at the camera in one corner, the entire family was… smiling. Not that kind of cold, mirthless smile her mother gave whenever someone tried to talk about her performance in school, or that weak, barely there smile her father gave her whenever he said that he loved her, but a series of pure, joy filled smiles that said absolute volumes about the family to Petunia.

Somehow, Petunia knew that no matter how absolutely chaotic Sachiel described her family as, she knew without a doubt that they really, truly did care for each other.

And somehow, that realization hurt far more than it really should have.

Sighing, she put the picture on the nightstand and, in an impulse decision, curled up on the couch next to Sachiel. 


	5. Petunia Evans Jumps to Conclusions

5)

“So… as much as I hate to say it,” Sachiel started, twiddling her thumbs after coming back to the tenement after being gone literally all day and night. “... I um. Actually went… and got a job.”

"Congratulations," Petunia declared. "Why are you acting as if I'm not going to like what it is?" 

“Oh um… I’m actually more just surprised that I even managed it, honestly,” Sachiel admitted, shrugging and settling down next to Petunia on the couch- she smelled faintly of metal and concrete, a bit like dust, but it wasn’t a bad smell, just… different. “Though, I guess I’m not really  _ on _ the job yet. I still have job training to do, but I’m a porter at King’s Cross now. Or. I will be after I actually get some training hours in.”

Petunia smiled. "But that's a good thing, then! Really, again, congratulations!" 

“Thanks!” Sachiel chirped, settling against Petunia and sighing happily with a wide smile on her face. “I uh… got turned down a lot today. Turns out a lot of places just aren’t looking to hire a weedy lookin’ sixteen year old girl.”

"No," Petunia deadpanned, " _ Really?"  _

She took in Sachiel’s pout and rolled her eyes. "No, seriously. I'm honestly impressed that you found work on the first day of searching, Sachiel. I'm even more impressed that you aren't working in a seedy gentleman's club or something. Really!" 

"What's a gentleman's club?" Sachiel asked curiously. 

Petunia  _ stared.  _ "...I feel like I need to go full Mrs. Clarke on your parents," she muttered. "For a multitude of reasons." 

“... This is one of those things that most kids should know about isn’t it. Or at least, people our age?” Sachiel asked dryly, crossing her arms a bit and sighing. “Is it like… one of those really gross places full of old creepy dudes who keep wanting to touch you? Because I just decked those guys and left.”

Petunia rolled her eyes. "Yes it is, and well done on decking them. Did anyone call the rozzers on you? I really don't want to deal with that, but I'd like to be prepared if at all possible..." 

“Don’t think so? At least, I never gave anyone my name and it was pretty dark in there so I figure that I’m good for at least another few weeks unless I deck even more people,” Sachiel shrugged, not at all concerned about the fact that she punched out a bunch of creepy old dudes.

Petunia snickered. "Well, that's that - all that's left is for  _ me _ to go job-hunting. Out of curiosity, which places did you say didn't hire teenagers again, so I know not to go there?" 

“Uhhh, there’s the bars, obviously, a couple office buildings, not the Tesco I just didn’t wanna work there,” Sachiel answered, listing names off one by one as she compiled quite the hefty list of names that turned her away. “Oh uh- it’s entirely worth noting that they might have just not liked  _ me _ specifically cuz I think I might have seen a few teens working in a few of those places.”

“Noted anyway,” Petunia noted. “Wait, why bars ‘obviously’?”

“... I’m sixteen?” Sachiel answered, looking at Petunia before shrugging. “Maybe it works different round here than the states, cuz I went there a while once and they wouldn’t let anyone under eighteen work at a bar.”

Petunia paused. “...you’re only sixteen? Huh. I honestly thought you were my age...”

“... Petunia I literally just mentioned I was sixteen about a minute ago,” Sachiel muttered, squinting up at Petunia in confusion. “... Are you alright? Usually I’m the one asking stupid questions…”

“I somehow managed to not register that,” Petunia murmured. “Anyway, as eighteen, I think I’ll go take a look at the bars. Could be an interesting part-time while I wait for my courses to actually start...”

“Just stay away from the ones that ask ladies to wear weird uniforms,” Sachiel sighed, shaking her head a bit. “Saw a couple of those. Lotta pretty ladies, but they sure did look uncomfortable.”

“...That’s literally the kind of thing I warned  _ you _ away from,” Petunia snarked. “Also, I didn’t know London even  _ had _ those.”

“It’s London, why are you surprised there’s  _ not _ something like that?” Sachiel shot back, snickering a bit as she snuggled against Petunia and sighed quietly. “Still, good luck finding a job. When does your typing course start anyway?”

Petunia looked at the calendar. “A few weeks. I’m here early... Oh well.”

“Well, we’ve got a few weeks to kill, then- do you wanna do something that’s not work in that time? See an amusement park? Go for a walk near the river? … Win a boatload of spending cash from pervy old men who’ll pay us to deck them real hard in the face? Er, ignore that last one. That’s… not something I wanna try getting into.” Sachiel chuckled dryly, sticking out her tongue a bit and laughing at her own, rather weak, joke.

"A walk along the Thames sounds nice," Petunia mused. "An amusement park is probably not within the budget... why did you even  _ mention _ that last one?" 

“Well, something for later on, when we actually have some savings,” Sachiel shrugged, sighing a bit as she twiddled her thumbs and stuck her tongue out again. “Being broke  _ sucks _ . Oh well, at least my family gave me enough money for groceries and rent this month...”

"Right," Petunia decided. She suddenly felt slightly hesitant. "Do you... want to go for a walk?" 

“I could, yeah- where do you wanna go? I think I found a nice park a bit a ways from here, and I think there’s a pub down near King’s Cross that’ll let us eat there- kinda run down, though, so I wouldn’t trust it. People there dress kinda funny though… Maybe it’s a costume pub or something with a gimmick?” Sachiel shrugged and sat up straight, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “I dunno, I didn’t really get a good look, but what I smelled when I walked past the door smelled pretty good.”

"...Right," Petunia decided, mind whirling. "We might have to check that out later," she said, putting on a coat. "Right now, ah... Let's go?" She dithered a bit. "...Aren't you going to put anything on...?" 

“I uh… no?” Sachiel shrugged and pointed out the window, where it was a lovely, slightly overcast but not rainy day. “Ain’t a sign of rain today, luv. And, honestly, I kinda like being in the rain like this. My family always did like to compare me to a frog, now that I think about it.”

Petunia rolled her eyes. “This is a _light_ _overcoat,_ not a raincoat, Sachiel. It’s to _look nice._ ”

“Well, you do look nice,” Sachiel nodded lightly in agreement, then hopped to her feet and walked over to Petunia. “But nah, I think I’m good like this.”

“Thanks,” Petunia blushed, almost offering up her arm before reconsidering. “Shall we?”

“We shall!” Sachiel nodded, immediately grabbing her by the hand and all but dashing out of the tenement building with Petunia in tow.

<>

“This is nice,” Sachiel murmured as she walked along beside Petunia, humming quietly under her breath as they walked through the Regent’s Park. At some point, the clouds had cleared out slightly, giving the entire park an uninterrupted sunny day just as they arrived.

Curiously good timing there, Petunia thought, but put it out of her mind.

“It is,” she agreed. "Just the two of us, strolling through the park together... No hurry anywhere... The weather's nice... It's kind of... Kind of..." She made a vague hand gesture. 

"Kind of like a date?" Sachiel enquired slyly. 

"Kind of, yes," Petunia agreed. "Not an actual date but  _ kind of  _ like one. Because an actual date usually involves a boy and a dinner and a kiss at the end of the night and we are clearly just having a normal walk in the park that kind of  _ resembles _ a date but  _ isn't _ ." 

“Mhmmmmmmmmmm,” Sachiel nodded, smiling at Petunia with a specific tone of voice and intonation that told Petunia that she was just humoring her previous statement. “Sure, we’re just a couple of birds walking about, totally not a date at all.”

Petunia, being Petunia, ignored the subtext and nodded imperiously. "And don't you forget that." 

“Ah, how could I?” Sachiel laughed, clear and bright and so unrestrained in her amusement that Petunia almost felt her heart skip a beat. Because she was happy that Sachiel was happy, not for any other reason, of course- no why would you think otherwise? Perfectly normal, she was. Completely and utterly.

"...So," she tried, "How about that lunch then? Just the two of us?" As friends, she firmly told herself. 

“Sure! Y’know, I think you’ll really like that place down near King’s Cross- it’s not like directly there but it’s super close,” Sachiel grinned a little wider, grabbing Petunia’s hand and tugging her along. “It’s kind of a liiiiittle far but if we’re fast we can get there in like twenty minutes no problem!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Petunia huffed. “We don’t have to  _ run,  _ you know...”

“Running is good for the body!” Sachiel shot back, continuing to jog forward with Petunia’s hand clutched firmly in her own, seemingly oblivious to how sweaty and hot Petunia’s palm was getting against her own- though perhaps that was because Sachiel was wearing fingerless gloves more than anything else.

"I- Respectfully- Disagree!" Petunia panted, refusing to let go nonetheless. "Please- Slow- Down-!" 

“Oh alright alright, guess we’ll need to get you a gym subscription when we can afford it,” Sachiel chuckled, slowing her pace and letting Petunia catch her breath, never once letting go of Petunia’s hand the entire time.

" _ Rude,"  _ Petunia huffed. "Do you always torment girls like that, or just me?" 

“Well, my siblings would have probably tried to wrestle with me if I tried to drag them around, honestly,” Sachiel shrugged, smiling still as she squeezed Petunia’s hand and bumped their shoulders together. “So I guess it’s just you.”

Petunia flushed. "You're mean," she complained. 

“Aww, am I reeeeally~?” Sachiel asked, grinning an extraordinarily mischievous grin as she rested her head against Petunia’s shoulder and gently poked her in the shoulder. “Or do you just not wanna admit that you think I’m amazing~?”

"Of course I don't want to admit that, it's improper!" Petunia snapped, before freezing. "...did I just say that out loud...?" 

“Should I pretend you didn’t?” Sachiel asked, raising one eyebrow as she looked up at Petunia and pulled back a little. “Or uhm… do you want to explain how it’s improper? Because I don’t get why it should be?”

"I- Well-" Petunia floundered. "A girl shouldn't be feeling those things towards another girl!" she hissed quietly. "It's- wrong! Abnormal! Something!" 

“... In my experience, the only people who say that are old fogeys who spend more of their time being bitter about things changing over time than even pretending to be good people,” Sachiel snorted, rolling her eyes and patting Petunia’s hair. “I say, the only thing that a girl honestly shouldn’t be feeling is- well. Hm. Honestly the way I was raised just about the only thing I think is wrong in a person is the desire to hurt others for no reason and-slash-or being a disgusting pedophile.”

"That's- kind of you to say," Petunia finally said. "But I just... I don't know. I really don't know." 

“Mm, just take your time with it, luv,” Sachiel shrugged, patting Petunia’s hair some more as she settled back against her. “We’ve got all the time in the world to do whatever we want, however we want. Y’know? So just take every day as it comes.”

"How very optimistic," Petunia murmured. With sheer force of will, she then wrenched her thoughts away from that topic and towards the other one. "...so where did you say that pub was, again?" 

“It’s right over here, I think, didn’t really get a good look at the sign but with a building that old it’s pretty hard to miss- think it was called uh… Leaky… somethin’,” Sachiel peered around, scratching her head before pointing off in a seemingly random direction. “Ah, there it is!”

"...Where?" Petunia deadpanned, suddenly recognising her surroundings as something ugly rose in her stomach. 

“Huh?” Sachiel paused and tilted her head at Petunia, blinking slowly as she looked back at the pub. “... It’s right there, luv, across the street? Are you okay? You look… uncomfortable.”

"I'm  _ sorry,"  _ Petunia bit out, "but I can't  _ see  _ it. On account of not being  _ magical.  _ Like my sister. Or  _ you,"  _ she spat, pulling her hand from Sachiel’s grip and glaring at the girl, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. "Were you ever planning on  _ telling  _ me? Or were you content to just  _ string  _ me along and  _ laugh  _ afterwards?" 

She laughed humorlessly. "That tenement is  _ magical  _ too, isn't it? And so was the hobo! You're all just  _ laughing  _ at me behind my back, aren't you?" 

“Wha- Petunia I’d never laugh at you! I’m- I don’t understand, what do you mean?” Sachiel immediately took a step back, completely shocked by Petunia’s change in attitude. “I- please, I don’t understand what’s wrong? Why are… I would  _ never _ \- what do you mean magical?”

"That  _ pub  _ that I can't see because I don't have  _ magic,"  _ Petunia sneered, "is the same one that  _ Lily  _ decided to stay in, on account of  _ being  _ magic.  _ You  _ can see it.  _ You're  _ magic. Simple.  _ Logical."  _

“Oh… I… that’s…” Sachiel paused and pursed her lips, looking down and holding her chin as she tried to think of something to say. “I don’t… I’m- I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry- I… I- whatever it is I’ve done, please let me make it up to you- you’re my only friend right now and… I don’t… I would  _ never _ try to hurt you- so please…”

She looked at Petunia, swallowing thickly with tears in her eyes. “C-could you- is there… is there anything I can do to solve this?”

Petunia took a step back, some of the anger draining from her. "...you really don't know what I'm on about, do you." 

Sachiel shook her head, miserably.

Petunia's shoulders dropped as she covered her face with her hands. "So I basically made a girl cry because I let my prejudices get away from me. That's just-" She laughed, a cold, clear laugh with only bitterness and misery in it. "Bloody typical. Right." 

She aggressively wiped her eyes and grabbed Sachiel by the arm. "Right! We are both going in there and finding out just what the Hell is up with you, got it? Now lead me in there, I can't see where it actually  _ is _ ." 

“R-right…” Sachiel sniffled and wiped her eyes, holding onto Petunia as if she were a lifeline and blinking away her tears. “I-it’s just… right over here luv…”

Petunia winced, but still rolled her eyes. "You have to lead me through the  _ door.  _ I'm not capable of seeing it on my own." 

Sniffling, Sachiel stepped forward, through  _ something,  _ and into a bustling pub of  _ noise  _ and cheer. Petunia felt a flash of nostalgic awe, which was immediately followed by a wave of bitterness - and  _ that  _ was followed by the sting of self-loathing. 

The first thing Petunia noticed was all the  _ magic  _ in the air, and she wrinkled her nose. The first thing to notice  _ Petunia  _ was incidentally Lily, who gaped silently a few moments before jumping out of her seat and marching right through the din towards her sister. 

"Petunia!" she exclaimed once she thought she was close enough. "It's good to see you, but why are you here? Actually more importantly,  _ how  _ are you here? I know you can't-" 

"Lily," Petunia deadpanned, "shut up. Good to see you too. Et cetera. Look, I want to know how  _ she  _ can see this place and have no bloody clue what you lot do here at all, got it?" She indicated towards the limpet on her arm. 

“.... Well, obviously, if she can see this place she  _ must _ have magic- maybe she’s a squib?” Lily blinked and took in the form of Sachiel, who was mostly just blinking and sniffling and clinging onto Petunia as if she were afraid of what would happen if she let go. “... Also, why is she sniffling so much? Are you okay, Sachiel?”

"I...  _ may  _ have jumped to conclusions," Petunia confessed. "What the Hell is a squib?" 

“A squib is like,” Lily tilted her head and just shrugged, flopping her hand vaguely back and forth as she thought about her words. “A person who’s born to a magic family who can’t  _ use _ magic, at least- not with a wand. They can still see anything that’s hidden from normal people, but they tend not to be… much accepted.”

Petunia  _ sighed. _ “Right,” she declared morosely. “You might as well just kill me now, then.”

Sachiel just whimpered a little and clung onto Petunia tighter, making her sigh and raise her free arm to pat Sachiel on the head to try and reassure her.

“... I- you know, I know we’re not on the best of terms right now, but I think this is the one time I can actually say  _ what the fuck _ , Petunia,” Lily sighed, immediately understanding everything based on the context clues she’d been given. “Did you really think the worst of the one person on the planet who seems to love you unconditionally?”

“Yes, I’m a horrid bitch,” Petunia snarked. “Always have been, et cetera, look,  _ I get it. _ I did a bad. But you have to understand, I just can’t shake things like that in two days-  _ what do you mean loves me unconditionally. _ ”

“Uh…” Lily looked between Petunia and Sachiel, the latter of which was slowly shaking her head with an almost desperate look on her face accompanying an incredibly luminescent blush. “... Y’know what, let’s just get you settled down and get you some lunch, alright? And… do you wanna talk about how you’ve been doing the past few days?”


	6. A Lunch In The Cauldron

“.... So you met crazy Old Man Fimbleton in an alleyway?” Lily raised an eyebrow as she stuffed a chip in her mouth, dipping it in the sauce they’d been provided with their order. “I… guess I’m not surprised. Old Man Fimbleton has a habit of turning up wherever he’s needed.”

“Do I want to know how you know random hobos, or is it something you picked up from Snape?” Petunia snarked.

“Old Man Fimbleton is a regular here, he’s always about- everyone seems to think he’s some kind of seer, though he never really makes prophecies,” Lily explained, shrugging a bit and taking a sip of her butterbeer before studiously turning away from Sachiel, who’d long since stopped crying and was now shovelling fish and chips into her mouth at a rate that had both her and Petunia wonder just how she managed to stay so thin. Or alive.

"...Your parents  _ did  _ feed your lot, right?" Petunia asked carefully. 

Neither sister liked very much how Sachiel actually had to pause to think about that. "Sure!" the girl chirped. "...I think." 

"You 'think'?" Lily demanded incredulously. "Who even raised you!?" 

“... You know, I don’t even remember. We’ve been… kind of self sufficient?” Sachiel shrugged, starting to look a bit nervous as she very obviously stuffed another slab of fried fish into her mouth to give herself time to talk. 

Lily and Petunia exchanged  _ glances.  _ Lily raised an eyebrow. Petunia rolled her eyes. Lily raised the other eyebrow. Petunia shrugged minutely. 

Lily rose, walked around the table, sat down next to Sachiel, and pulled the other girl into a startled hug. She stared pointedly at Petunia. 

"Oh fine," Petunia grumbled, but without any heat in her words. She leaned in from her side and  _ also  _ pulled Sachiel into a hug, startling the other girl even more. 

Sachiel just blinked and looked between the two sisters for a moment, then shrugged and smiled a bit as she leaned into the embrace of both sisters, wrapping her arms around them and hugging them close without really knowing exactly what was happening at the moment.

"How many hugs like this do you even get?" Lily asked, being in a better position to see Sachiel's expression of content confusion. 

“Honestly? Not enough,” Sachiel sighed, still smiling blissfully as she leaned her head against Petunia’s shoulder and almost purred. “This is nice…”

Petunia’s cheeks lit up with a luminescent blush, but she kept her hold. “In a few years,” she murmured, “when we’re living comfortably, I want to track down your parents and give them a what-for they’ll  _ never _ forget...”

Lily nodded along with Petunia, murmuring something along those lines as well, though a bit quieter since she didn’t want to interrupt the moment between Petunia and Sachiel.

"..." Sachiel smiled. "...I kinda wanna see that, to be honest," she murmured. "Lilith is... Kind of scary to be frank..." 

“Hmph, scary or not, I’m still going to tell her off for apparently being the worst parent possible for you,” Petunia huffed, crossing her arms and frowning heavily at nothing in particular. 

Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed Petunia into a hug too. "We're out of there now," she reminded gently. "We can figure out our own lives from here." 

"That reminds me, I have to go job hunting tomorrow," Petunia remembered. "Sachi already has one, after all. What about you, Lily? I hope you aren't planning on mooching off your boyfriend forever..." 

“He’s not my boyfriend, he’s just a loser I can guilt money out of because he apparently ‘feels bad about being a tosser to me’ or something,” Lily snorted, rolling her eyes and huffing. “And I only really need enough to get me through next year, after which maybe I’ll actually have some options for an apprenticeship or something.”

"Why,  _ Lily _ ," Petunia drawled. "That sounds almost  _ manipulative  _ of you." 

She smirked. "I'm almost  _ proud _ ." 

“Yeah yeah, it is what it is,” Lily huffed and rolled her eyes again at Petunia’s ribbing before finally letting go and sitting back down to finish her lunch. “Anyway, I’m all set for the rest of the summer, I just need to go shopping for school supplies later on.”

Petunia looked very thoughtful for a long moment, picking at her food. "It was a joke when I first thought of it," she finally said, "but now I can't stop thinking about it." She looked up. "...Do you think I could work in a bar?" 

“Not in this one,” Lily shook her head, but shrugged and then looked at Petunia a little closer. “I mean, I suppose you could, but you might have to deal with drunk tossers trying to grope you all night long.” 

Petunia eyed her sister. “...are you speaking from experience, and do I have to try and beat up a wizard with another wizard?”

“Wha- oh, no, I’ve just heard gossip among the local waitresses about the patrons here and at the Three Broomsticks over in Hogsmeade,” Lily answered, waving her hand and brushing off the question. “Apparently, I’m not old enough to work here yet, especially since I’m not even done with Hogwarts.”

“... What kind of a name is  _ Hogwarts?” _ Sachiel mumbled around a mouthful of fish and chips, chewing slowly as she looked over at Lily. “Is  _ everything _ around here named after pigs or something?”

“Certainly,” Petunia answered blithely. “They worship a mythical Grand Swine, who is supposedly what granted the wizards their magic.”

Lily eyed her sister. “Sometimes,” she said slowly, “the speed with which you come up with these  _ scares me. _ ” Turning towards Sachiel, she added, “Don’t take her seriously about this, it’s completely wrong and has no basis in reality.”

“Did I hear tell of the Grand Swine?” bartender Tom asked, passing by the table with two empty mugs on a plate. “Tis an old, old legend. I’m surprised ye have even heard of it, for it is so old...”

Lily suddenly looked less sure of herself.

“... You know what, suddenly I don’t think I want to know,” Sachiel muttered, watching as Petunia immediately broke down laughing and almost fell off her own chair. 

“I- but that-... what? I- Tom isn- I-?????” Lily spluttered out something vaguely in the form of a question, looking between the mysteriously grinning bartender and Petunia, completely at a loss as to what just happened.

Still giggling wildly, Petunia raised a hand, palm up. Tom slapped it without even looking, as he headed back towards his bar.

“I’ve decided that  _ he _ is okay,” Petunia declared once her laughter had died down a little.

“Ohhhh it  _ was  _ a joke,” Sachiel helpfully murmured, completely oblivious to the annoyed glare Lily sent Petunia’s way- one full of the kind of all encompassing  _ loathing _ that only siblings were capable of delivering at each other.

“Somehow, I almost feel like smacking you for that,” Lily sighed, dropping her face into her palms and  _ groaning _ .

“But that was a  _ perfect _ set-up!” Petunia declared, throwing her hands out. “How could I let it pass by?”

“.... Fair point,” Lily rolled her eyes, then reached across the table and flicked Petunia’s forehead anyway. “It was still an awful, awful joke and I swear I’m going to get you back for that.”

“Oh no,” Petunia deadpanned. “What am I going to do. How will I escape such a cruel fate.”

Sachiel just giggled as she watched the two of them banter, smiling wide as she took in how much  _ happier _ both of them looked now that they were out of that horrible house with their horrible parents.

<>

“So,” Petunia declared, “I’m going job-hunting.”

It was the next day. The lunch with Lily had been a surprisingly pleasant experience, oddly enough. Petunia couldn’t really put a finger on it, but she had felt far lighter after than before. It was... nice.

“Nice!” Sachiel immediately chirped, squeezing Petunia in a tight, but pleasant hug for a few seconds before returning to making some kind of horribly decadent mess of breakfast foods that left Petunia wondering just how much grocery money Sachiel had actually picked up from her family if they could afford to make  _ that much _ food every day.

“...I want to get going now, thank you,“ Petunia managed through her hug.

“But you haven’t even had breakfast yet!” Sachiel protested, not letting go of Petunia even as she picked up a steaming hot spoonful of scrambled eggs from the pan and held it up to Petunia. “C’mon, say aaaah~!”

Petunia’s face lit up scarlet. “This-! I-! You-!”

“You need to eat to keep up your strength, Tuney~!” Sachiel only grinned as she shoved the spoonful of eggs into Petunia’s mouth without hesitation, snickering at how red Petunia’s face had become as she took another wooden spoon and scooped a proper breakfast for her roommate. “C’mon! It’s only seven, you’ve got  _ loads _ of time to go job searching!”

“...You’re a  _ menace, _ ” Petunia finally managed after swallowing. “Complete and shameless  _ menace. _ ”

“Aww, you say the nicest things~” Sachiel giggled back, winking and dragging Petunia over to the table and plopping her down into a chair, firmly holding onto Petunia’s shoulders so the other girl couldn’t escape. “Now eat up, you’ll need your strength for job hunting and trying to do it on an empty stomach is just gonna make you cranky and tired.”

“...hate when you make sense like that,” Petunia grumbled, shovelling the eggs in her mouth.

“No you don’t~” Sachiel sing-songed, giggling a bit as she patted Petunia’s head and sat down across from her as she began eating her own, slightly larger portion of eggs and toast, passing Petunia a pitcher of orange juice as well.

“...why?” Petunia finally asked. “Why me? Why heap your affection to me? What have I done to deserve it?”

“I unno!” Sachiel chirped cheerfully, shrugging and smiling at Petunia. “I felt like you needed a friend and that was pretty much that! You’re not telling me to leave, right?”

“...no,” Petunia sighed. “No I’m not.”

She gulped down the last of her eggs, drained the glass of orange juice, and rose. “I’ll be going now. I’ll probably be late.”

“Okay, good luck, luv! Knock ‘em dead!” Sachiel grinned and hugged Petunia one last time, pressing a kiss to Petunia’s cheek for good luck before returning to her breakfast.

“Bye,” Petunia managed, fleeing from the apartment, cheeks flaming.


	7. Job Life

Sachiel was… in a word, bored.

Oh sure, her body was hard at work loading and unloading heavy luggage for people down at the train station, but her mind was completely lost in thoughts of Petunia, who was stuck both in typing classes and at work bagging groceries for most of the day, leaving her with precious little time to do anything but come home, eat, and sleep at the end of the day.

And that was just…

Well, Sachiel knew how important those classes were to Petunia, and how important it was to keep working so they could pay rent, but still… she really did wish she could hang out with Petunia more.

“Oi, rookie!” a voice broke Sachiel out of her musings, making her blink and shake her head as she realized that her shift supervisor was waving her over.

“Yes, ma’am?” she questioned as soon as she’d run over. “What do you need?”

“We’re movin’ platforms, gonna need you to handle Nine n’ Ten fer the rest of the month,” her supervisor, Molly, answered gruffly, pointing over to the indicated platforms and scribbling something on her ever present clipboard. “And stop spacin’ out so much. Yer gonna getcherself knocked out one ‘a these days if ya don’t pay attention.”

“I can work without thinking just fine!” Sachiel protested. “And yeah, I’m on it ma’am.”

“Ye can work, but y’ain’t payin’ special attention. Just make sure you don’t fall onto the tracks like an idjit, alright?” Molly groused, tapping the hat on Sachiel’s head before giving Sachiel the sheaf of paper describing her new work schedule- mornings on Nine, evenings on Ten, three hour break in the middle of the day for lunch and rest- before turning away and going off to go yell at Sachiel’s somehow less efficient yet more experienced coworkers. Or, rather, just to yell at Johnson and Kelly, the two guys that Sachiel usually ended up covering for because apparently she worked fast enough to accidentally just start handling their luggage loads without noticing. Fuckin’ slackers, the both of them.

Shrugging, Sachiel moved over to her new post. 

Platform Nine this time of year was… eh. It was July, who gave a shit. There wasn’t anything major happening, so it was bustling but not crowded at the very least, though Sachiel did occasionally see a few people dressed a bit out of the ordinary- not like, wizard weird, but just people who decided that contemporary fashion was dumb and that they’d be better served wearing something they liked rather than blending in with the crowd.

Kinda nice, actually. People watching was quickly becoming one of Sachiel’s hobbies, and she had a running tally of picking out people who were interesting- from a lady who looked like a supermodel hauling around a literal cinderblock like a clutch purse all the way to an elderly grandma with twelve giant dogs huddled around her like a bodyguard company.

Still- the work was hard, the work was long, and the only thing she really had to look forward to was the end of the day, when she’d get a few minutes in of cuddling with Petunia before her roommate invariably ended up passing the fuck out on the couch, leaving Sachiel to carry her back to her room.

Maybe it was weird to look forward to that, but any excuse to hug her Tuney was worth it.

“Heeeeeeey, rookie.”

“Workin’ hard, rookie?”

“Johnson,” Sachiel acknowledged. “Kelly. And yeah, pretty much - why?”

“Weeeelll,” Johnson, the guy on the right and also the proud owner of a beer gut at age thirty, scratched his head and grinned with a set of horribly crooked teeth (not that Sachiel could say that was  _ weird _ considering the state of British dentistry), “We were wonderin’ if ya wanted to come down to the pub with us- have a few drinks an’ take the edge off the day.”

“Y’never do much socializin’ anyway, so we figured we might as well drag you along,” Kelly continued, pointing a stubby finger vaguely at Sachiel and trying to look more impressive than he really was. “So, whaddya say? Y’in for that?”

Sachiel didn’t mind the idea of drinks, per se, and yet... “Is there an ulterior motive or do ya just want drinks?” she asked.

“Er- wait, yer like… sixteen, yeah?” Johnson immediately frowned, blinking as he scratched his head. “Kel, y’know any pubs what serve anythin’ but water to kids?”

“Eh, not really. They got pop n’ junk but that’ll rot yer teeth worse than they already are,” Kelly huffed, then shrugged. “Eh. Maybe we just go get some pub food together, eh? And  _ then _ we go bar hoppin’ once the lil lass goes home for the night.”

Sachiel considered that. “Sure, I guess,” she ventured. “...I think.”

“Ease up lil rookie, we’re just havin’ a spot o’ fun- everyone’ll be there, so don’t worry your pretty lil head none,” Johnson grinned, patting Sachiel’s head in what he probably thought was a fatherly manner, but mostly just made him come across as a large dude who had no idea how to talk to a teenager that barely came up to his chest.

"Still a teenager," Sachiel pointed out. "And not even that much into headpats." 

“Fair enough,” Johnson nooded agreeably, then shrugged and turned away as Molly started shouting at him and Kelly. “Whoops, boss lady’s callin’! Seeya after work rookie!” 

“Seeya,” Sachiel murmured, falling right back into her daydreams.

<>

“Sachiel, there you are!” Petunia cried out as soon as Sachiel stumbled through the door just past nine thirty pm, her face twisted with worry as she grasped Sachiel around the shoulders and almost frantically pulled her into a hug. “Where have you been!?”

"...Bonding with the coworkers?" Sachiel offered. "S-sorry I worried you..." 

“You certainly smell like it,” Petunia muttered, huffing quietly as she wrinkled her nose at the pub smell clinging to Sachiel’s clothes. “You haven’t been drinking, have you? I know you probably don’t exactly care about the legality of it but- well, it’s not exactly healthy to do so at our age. Or… any age, I would assume.”

“No I haven’t,” Sachiel wrinkled her nose herself. “Just bar food... I’m not actually sure what was  _ in _ that but I  _ think _ it probably wasn’t alcohol.”

Petunia just huffed again, patting some invisible dust off of Sachiel’s vest and sighing. “Well, as long as you didn’t drink anything, I guess it’s fine. And I suppose you’re already full from bar food so you won’t be needing any more dinner.”

Sachiel blinked. "Oh crap, now I've made you eat alone-  _ sorry!"  _

“It’s… well I won’t say it’s fine because you made me worry where you were for the better part of an hour, but at least you didn’t barge in completely sloshed at some ungodly hour in the morning,” Petunia rolled her eyes, gently patting Sachiel’s shoulder and giving her a hug. “So if you’re home late again, should I just assume you were out getting something from a pub?”

“Uh, I guess,” Sachiel offered, scratching the back of her neck. “I think the guys were worried I was being antisocial or somethin’...”

“Hm, well, I can understand why,” Petunia smiled a bit, yawning as she pulled away from Sachiel and headed for her room. “I’m off to bed for now, though, see you in the morning, I suppose.

"Can I join you?" Sachiel asked before she could stop herself. 

Petunia paused in her doorway, visibly mulling over the idea in her head for a few moments as she chewed her lip, then shrugged and nodded. “Sure, why not? We’ll make a sleepover of it, I guess. Though I actually do need to sleep if I’m to wake up on time for classes tomorrow.”

Sachiel just quietly pumped her fist in the background.

Petunia pretended not to see it as she stripped down to her underwear and changed into her nightclothes, sighing and sliding into bed before patting the spot next to her. “Come on then. It’ll be a tight fit but as long as you don’t roll around all night it should be fine.”

Naturally, Sachiel immediately assumed the Big Spoon position, being in bed almost quicker than the eye could see.

Petunia tensed up a bit as Sachiel all but crashed into her, but quickly settled with a quiet sigh. She relaxed into Sachiel’s arms and leaned back slightly, pressing herself up against the other girl with just the barest hint of a smile on her face. “Good night, Sachiel.”

“Good night, Tuney!” the other girl chirped, snuggling in even more.

“... Good night, Sachiel,” Petunia murmured, closing her eyes and trying not to think of Sachiel’s breath on her neck, her arms around her waist, her breasts pressing against her back, her warm presence making all of Petunia’s worries fade away.

Hrm.

Petunia silently admitted to herself that she may be a bit in over her head.

She sighed quietly, just settling down and letting Sachiel’s presence wash away that thought, letting her mind wander away as drowsiness overtook her and brought her down into the gentle depths of sleep.


	8. Relationship Upgrade

Months passed. Slowly, but surely.

Sachiel and Petunia settled into their routine, passing the time away with work and school, groceries and bills, the stress of finding a new job. Normal things. Quiet things.

Lily had gone back to school in September, and her only correspondence now was by owl post.

Petunia was a bit sad that Lily had to leave for so much of the year when they were just finally managing to be proper sisters again, but she understood.

She threw herself into her course, earning top marks in her typing class before eventually quitting her job at the local Tesco and applying for a secretarial job at some drill company or another.

“Congratulations!” Sachiel cheered, screaming and hugging Petunia tightly as the other girl teared up and smiled, overwhelmed at having been hired after only a single interview. 

“I guess I made a good impression,” Petunia admitted.

“You did! You really knocked it out of the park, luv!” Sachiel grinned wide, pushing herself back so she could really beam at Petunia, then took a step back and immediately dashed into the kitchen. “This calls for a celebratory lunch!”

Petunia smiled, following Sachiel into the kitchen. 

Sachiel, of course, had immediately begun a whirlwind of activity- pulling ingredients out of the fridge and pantry, chopping and mixing and cooking at a speed that Petunia would have called superhuman if it weren’t just Sachiel’s default speed of cooking.

As it were, it was already hard enough to keep track of her movement with how excited she was.

“Do you want help?” Petunia couldn’t help but drawl, gazing fondly at the small hurricane unfolding in their kitchen. “I felt like I should ask.”

“I’m good!” the hurricane responded, easily handling every task imaginable while shooing Petunia out. “You just sit at the table! Lunch will be ready in about an hour!”

“I’m sitting, I’m sitting,” Petunia grumbled good-naturedly, letting herself sink to a chair and gazing into the ceiling. “Hey Sachiel?”

“Yeah?” came a distracted answer from the kitchen.

“What are we?” Petunia asked. “The two of us.”

Sachiel paused as she made sure the kitchen was safe to leave unattended for a while before stepping out and sitting down across from Petunia. “... Well… We’re friends and roommates, aren’t we? I mean, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to go further, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“...I don’t know,” Petunia admitted. “It’s... why I’m asking.”

“Well… that’s fine, honestly,” Sachiel tilted her head as she reached across the table and held Petunia’s hand, pursing her lips thoughtfully as she tried to put her thoughts into words. “We don’t need to put labels on things if you’re not sure of how you feel about them. We can just be the way we are for now, and when you figure things out, then we’ll just move on from there, right luv?”

Petunia didn’t answer right away, opting to just  _ stare _ at the other girl. “Where do you  _ get _ all that relentless optimism?” she asked fondly.

“Well, the world’s a beautiful place, innit? So why not think of the good things to help push past all the bad?” Sachiel grinned cheerily, as if all was right in the world. She shrugged after a few seconds, opening her eyes again and patting Petunia’s hand. “Now, lemme go finish lunch, alright luv? Trust me, whatever you’re feeling right now, you’ll feel better after a good meal.”

Petunia stared at her, then at her hand, then back at Sachiel. “...I think I love you,” she murmured.

Sachiel paused, then turned around slowly, visibly fighting to control herself as she stepped around to Petunia’s side of the table and engulfed her in a warm, tight hug. “I love you too,” she whispered, shuddering slightly as she spoke, grinning so wide it almost hurt.

Petunia  _ blushed _ brightly. “Please say that again,” she requested.

“I love you too~!” Sachiel chirped, squeezing Petunia a little tighter before pulling back and placing a quick peck on Petunia’s cheek. “I love you a lot!”

"That's..." Petunia began to tear up. "That's the nicest thing I've heard in years..." 

“I’ll say it again and again, as many times as you want,” Sachiel grinned brightly, pressing more kisses across Petunia’s face as she straddled Petunia’s lap, hugging her tightly. “I love you. I love you. I love you~”

“I love you too,” Petunia whispered. And kissed Sachiel at last.

<>

“So… now what?” Petunia murmured after she’d managed to restrain herself long enough to eat lunch, now sat on the couch with Sachiel on her lap, the two of them simply existing near each other and basking in each other’s presence. 

“I dunno,” Sachiel confessed. “I kinda wanna start a band?”

“I think we’d need a few more friends before we can do that,” Petunia murmured, tracing lines on Sachiel’s stomach with her finger and smiling softly. “But I think I do rather like the sound of that, if vaguely. What kind of music do you think you’d like to play?”

“...Rock’n’roll,” Sachiel decided after a long pause. “Maybe a bass guitar? Something  _ rhythmic. _ ”

“Hmm, sounds like a good plan. That sort of music is getting to be pretty popular these days isn’t it? It sounds rather lovely too,” Petunia nodded, then tilted her head thoughtfully. “But where on earth are we going to find the rest of the band? I’m not exactly musically talented, so I can’t help there.”

"You can sing tho," Sachiel disagreed. "I've heard you sing in the shower, you sound great!" 

"I sound like a dying crow," Petunia disagreed. "You don't need to butter me up." 

"But I'm  _ not!"  _ Sachiel exclaimed. "You have a  _ lovely  _ scratchy voice - I can already think of  _ several  _ types of songs you'd sound  _ amazing  _ with..." 

“... Do you really think it sounds nice?” Petunia asked, blinking slowly as she processed Sachiel’s words and blushed slightly. “And… um, what kind of songs were you thinking about?”

"Equally low and slow, but also hard and fast," Sachiel mused. "Depends on the tone we want to go for." 

“Hmm… well, I think that sort of punkish music and style you pattern yourself after has been getting more and more popular lately,” Petunia murmured, actually thinking on it for a moment. “And I think… well, it might work, actually. Though, I don’t know if I could sing about the kind of lyrics all those people on the radio do.”

“...Sing something?” Sachiel offered.

Petunia blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“Sing something,” Sachiel repeated. “For me.” Her lips twitched. “Sing for me, my Angel of Music?”

Petunia raised an eyebrow. “...Is this a reference to something I’m not getting?”

Sachiel stared into the emptiness for a moment. “Sorry. Anyway, please? Pretty please?”

“Oh very well, if you  _ insist _ ,” Petunia sighed, dithering about for a few minutes as she tried to think of something to sing, before deciding to sing a little ditty she’d heard on the radio the other day. “Just… don’t make fun of me if it sounds awful, okay?”

Without waiting for Sachiel to reply, she immediately opened her mouth… and  _ sang. _

_ “She keeps her Moet et Chandon, in her pretty cabinet~ Let them eat ake she says, just like Mary Antoinette! A built in remedy- for Kruschev and Kennedy- at anytime an invitation you can’t decliiiine~!” _

<>

“... How did you manage to sing the  _ entire _ song perfectly?” Sachiel asked a few minutes later, awestruck and blushing heavily as she stared into Petunia’s eyes, completely at a loss for words. “You didn’t even have the lyrics in front of you!”

Petunia coughed and turned away, blushing. "I...  _ really  _ love Queen, okay?" she confessed. "It's a bit of a guilty pleasure, really..." 

“Nothing guilty about it, luv!” Sachiel grinned wide, hugging Petunia close and squeeing joyfully. “Oh your voice is  _ so _ lovely! It’s like a sultry siren luring me into your arms~! And I’m not just saying that cuz I love you, just so you know.”

"You're either trying to butter me up," Petunia decided ("I'm  _ not!"  _ Sachiel protested) "or I need the opinion of someone who  _ isn't  _ head over heels in love with me and can thus judge it fairly." 

She smirked and planted a tiny kiss on the tip of Sachiel’s nose. "I love you too, you silly girl. Don't get any ideas." 

“Aww, I like having ideas, though!” Sachiel giggled, nuzzling against Petunia and then tapping her on the nose in retaliation. “But, I do have an idea! We can get Lily to judge your voice! Well, y’know. Once she’s free from school and can actually come over for holidays.”

"Yes, because Lily is the very picture of objectivity," Petunia snarked. "Also, pretty sure December is still two months away." 

“Hmm… we might need to get someone else in on it then,” Sachiel sighed, scratching her head slightly and shrugging. “But you do have a nice voice, and I’m sure it’ll only get better as we practice!”

“You’re making me blush,” Petunia deadpanned.


	9. In Which Two Girls Think About Music

“I wonder how we’re gonna get more people for our band,” Sachiel wondered idly as she more or less drifted through work, humming to herself as she tapped out a rhythm on her cart and pushed it around… before pausing and blinking at the sight of a single column on Platform 9 that she hadn’t really noticed before. “... Has that column always felt tingly…?”

She looked around, seeing none of her colleagues in sight. "Strange," she murmured. She then tried to tap the column and  _ stared  _ as her fingers went straight through. "...what." 

She slowly stepped back and bit her lip. Today was kind of a slow day, and she didn’t really have anything to do for a while… it wouldn’t  _ hurt _ to check what was on the other side of the column, would it?

“... It’s probably just another dumb wizard thing,” Sachiel muttered to herself, trying not to hyper herself up too much as she took a step back, then leapt forward… and found herself in a train station not unlike the one she’d just left. Just, this one was empty. And also full of stuff of the same sort she’d seen in the Leaky Cauldron- that is, wizard stuff that was closely analogous to normal people stuff. Also a bunch of fireplaces. Sachiel wasn’t sure what was up with that, honestly.

“... Well, it’s a dumb wizard thing,” she shrugged, turning around and deciding to go explore a little while she still had some free time.

...Honestly, the place was pretty boring. She did suppose that it was probably more exciting with people in it, and that the station itself was actually somewhere at the  _ edge  _ of London and not in the middle of it, which was its own clue, but aside from that, there really wasn't anything  _ too  _ interesting around. 

Without much else to do, Sachiel just shrugged, turned around, and walked back into King’s Cross proper- after all, she still had a job to do, and the wizard side of the station wasn’t getting any more interesting considering its current emptiness.

As she stepped back through the portal to King’s Cross, she picked up her cart once again. 

“Maybe if we get a band together we could practice there… not like anyone’s in that station most of the time, seems like,” Sachiel murmured to herself, lifting and carrying luggage with practiced ease, making sure all the heavy stuff was packed away nice and neat and the delicate stuff was managed so it wouldn’t just fall over and break the moment the train started moving. “Hmm… bet Petunia wouldn’t like it so much, though… would need to get at least magically sensitive band members in order to make it less weird…”

She sighed. “This is way more complicated than I expected...”

She shrugged, put it out of her mind, and went back to her mindless work, humming along to the sound of Queen on the radio, wondering if Petunia was doing the same at her job.

_ “Mama, ooooOooOoh, didn't mean to make you cry- If I'm not back again this time tomorrow! Carry on, carry on! As if nothing really matters~” _

<>

_ “Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time~ Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go! Gotta leave you all behind and faaaace the truth~” _

Petunia hummed quietly along to the radio at work, typing quickly and efficiently as she transferred handwritten documents into proper formatted text, focused and without any distraction beyond the single photograph of Sachiel she’d placed on her desk.

"Well hello there, Petunia! Hard at work, as usual?" 

Okay, there was  _ one  _ distraction, one that might have, in another time, even been a welcome one. 

Unfortunately for him, she was already in a relationship. 

"Go away Dursley, I'm busy," Petunia sighed. " _ As you can see.  _ Would you mind buggering off and let me work? I know you haven't given me those reports I asked for yet, and since I don't see anything on your person I'm going to assume you haven't done anything yet. Am I right?" 

“Why I’m just saying hello, what’s wrong with that?” one Vernon Dursley huffed, glaring down at Petunia and looming over her in a way that would have been intimidating if he hadn’t been slowly turning puce with veins popping out of his forehead, breathing as if going up the stairs had been a marathon, or roughly seventy pounds overweight to the point that she was entirely sure that any strength he may have had was entirely used up just keeping himself  _ alive _ . “You’ve got entirely the wrong attitude for a lady, Tuney, you should smile more! It’d make you look prettier.”

Petunia took a  _ deep _ breath and sighed. “Just... get me those reports and stop flirting, Dursley, I’m not interested.”

The fat man snorted and grumbled, blustering as he stomped off and muttering something about how Petunia would regret messing with a man like him, and that women like her should know their place.

It was, honestly, funnier than threatening, but also far more annoying than it was amusing.

She sighed. The sad thing was, if she'd met him six months ago, she'd have probably even found him charming. Since meeting Sachiel, however... 

Petunia smiled fondly to herself and got back to work. 

After all, even if  _ some _ of her coworkers spent most of their time toadying up to others and belittling women instead of submitting their reports, it wasn’t like Petunia could just slack off without consequence.

<>

“I bought a guitar!” Sachiel chirped happily the moment Petunia came home, showing off the beat up instrument she’d most definitely gotten from a secondhand store. Despite that, it still seemed to be of decent quality- even the amp Sachiel was sitting on seemed to be just fine, despite the nicks and scratches and dents and stickers and other signs of wear.

“Nice!” Petunia congratulated. “Go on then - let’s hear something!”

“Aaaa- let’s not get ahead of ourselves, luv,” Sachiel grinned sheepishly, not at all willing to embarrass herself in front of her girlfriend. “I’m gonna need a lot of practice before I can actually play anything on this… it’s been a long time since the last time I tried at all, honestly.”

Petunia crossed her arms, grinning. “Oh no you don’t. I sang, didn’t I? Now  _ you _ get to  _ play. _ ”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Sachiel muttered, scratching her head for a moment before plucking at the strings of the guitar and wincing at the sour notes playing out of the amp. “Ergh, I think I need to tune this a little better…”

“Then tune it,” Petunia suggested, sitting crosslegged before her. “I won’t judge. Much.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Tuney,” Sachiel giggled, grinning as she tuned the guitar by ear and chewed her lip thoughtfully, making a variety of strange expressions the entire time until she was finally satisfied. “Ah, there we go! I think that’s good now… probably.”

She hummed, then plucked the strings and smiled wider as the amp played out a series of harmonic, perfectly tuned notes. “Perfect!”

Petunia smiled fondly. "Go on," she urged. "Play for me, O Angel of Music~"

“That’s my sister, technically,” Sachiel snickered, strumming out the first few notes to Stairway to Heaven and humming along. “Her name  _ is _ Israfel.”

“...Your parents are  _ really _ weird,” Petunia decided.

Sachiel smiled and plucked at the notes, Petunia humming along as the other girl grew bolder with her notes. 

  
_ “There’s a lady who is sure,” _ the latter began,  _ “all that glitters is gold, and she’s buyin’ a stairway to heaven....” _


	10. The Sisters Catch Up

“Y’know, I still don’t feel fully comfortable here,” Petunia muttered quietly, biting her lip and sighing as she sat back in her chair and looked around the Leaky Cauldron, frowning a bit and twiddling her fingers around. Lily sat across from her, apparently having managed to secure a weekend off- possibly because it was something called a “Hogsmeade Weekend” or something like that. 

Honestly, Petunia was more impressed by the fact that apparently Wizard Owls could fly from Northern Scotland all the way down to a dingy flat in London without losing their way or getting distracted, all within the span of less than a week. 

“... Wait, how did you even manage to get in here anyway? I thought you couldn’t see the door?” Lily asked, tilting her head slowly as a strange thought crossed her mind. “Didn’t you need Sachiel to lead you here last time?”

"She dropped me off," Petunia replied distractedly, looking around. "Look, is this a catch-up thing, or... or what? We kind of- okay you know what I'm not talking about it until I've had something alcoholic, I'm entirely too sober for this conversation." 

“... You and I both know you’re not quite old enough for that,” Lily deadpanned, rolling her eyes as she placed her hand on Petunia’s arm to keep her from getting up and doing something stupid. “And yes it’s a catch up thing- what did you think it was? I’m on a weekend holiday, not some kind of secret mission. Honestly, Tuney, just sit down, eat your greasy pub food, and we can just catch up.”

“What do you mean not old enough- I’m  _ eighteen, _ ” Petunia protested. “Okay, look, I’m just kind of frazzled - Sachi and I are putting a band together, figuring out if the two of us are enough or not is taking up most of my brain right now...”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that… How ironic, going to school makes me forget things,” Lily snickered to herself at her own joke, then patted Petunia’s shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Sis. Hun. Blight of my doll collection that one time when we were six. If Sirius Black, that idiot tosser who hangs around my sort of boyfriend all the time can make a good go at being a one man band with nothing but a single kick drum, an acoustic guitar, and his godawful sounding singing voice, I’m sure the two of you can manage to be a lovely band all on your own. Besides, if you go at it with the two of you now and make a name for yourselves, you can pick up new members along the way!”

"'Sort of' boyfriend?" Petunia drawled, putting the rest of the information to the side for a moment. "Before you went back to  _ school _ , you very adamantly did  _ not  _ have a boyfriend.  _ Do  _ elaborate what changed~" 

"Ugh, you're  _ impossible,"  _ Lily groaned. "Tell you what, you go kiss Sachiel and I'll tell you  _ all  _ about my love life." With a grin, the younger sister sat back and crossed her arms. 

Petunia felt a smirk flit across her face. "Already done, little sister. And properly, too." She leaned forward with an almost shark-like grin on her face. "So, about that boyfriend~?" 

“Wait, you and Sachiel finally got together!?” Lily instead replied, squealing in excitement as she all but leapt forward and grabbed Petunia’s hands, bouncing in place as she grinned in an almost manic way. “Tell me everything! How did it happen? When did it happen? Have you gone on any dates yet!?”

Petunia rolled her eyes. "Yes, we kissed,  _ we kissed _ , when I got a job, and twice. Now, stop deflecting  _ and tell me about yours."  _

Lily sighed, sitting back in her chair and groaning. “Euuuggh, what’s to tell? James is finally acting like a proper human being and I kind of like him now that he’s being all charming instead of smarmy and godawful, but we’re not like…  _ together _ together yet.”

“Is his last name Bond, or are we still talking about the Potter lout?” Petunia teased.

“No, he’s still Potter, but now he actually listens to me and isn’t a tosser anymore,” Lily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, smirking a little bit at her own memories. “I may make a proper boyfriend out of him yet.”

“House-trained already?” Petunia smirked. “Or is that gonna take another couple of months?”

“Probably another  _ year _ ,” Lily huffed with a melodramatic sigh of defeat, waving her hand around dismissively. “You know how jocks get- all sweaty and disgusting. Hmph, I’ll probably need to teach him the importance of regular showers. Eugh.”

"Ah, the jock-nerd relationships," Petunia nodded sagely. "He will marry his high school sweetheart - that's you - and end up with a nice little cottage in an out of the way village and will have children until he gets a son to teach his moves to. I can already see it now." She grinned. "You will name the son after your father, or perhaps  _ his  _ father, and he'll grow up to be a nice little jock to continue the cycle." 

“I am- hrm. Actually I guess that doesn’t really work here,” Lily muttered, furrowing her brow and grumbling as she realized that she was, without a doubt, kind of a nerd. “... Well to be fair, as much as those idiots like to pretend otherwise, Potter and his band of dunderheads are just as much nerds as I am when it comes down to it.”

"I noticed you didn't deny anything else~!" Petunia sing-songed, thoroughly enjoying the situation. "Do you want to  _ mar~ry  _ him?" 

“.... Maybe?” Lily shrugged, for once looking actually uncertain as she blushed and looked to the side. “He’s certainly pretty enough, and I think he’d be pretty nice if he cleaned up his act some more. But not right now, I don’t think. Y’know, seeing as we’re both in school and also still underage.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Petunia agreed. “So, how else have you been?”

“Well, Snape’s still being a whiny tosser about the fact that I broke our friendship because he’s a racist,” Lily answered, tapping her chin idly as she stared at the ceiling. “School’s going well. Hrm… political situation’s getting kinda tense in the Wizarding World, though. There’s… well. Quite a lot of bad shit happening here and there. Kind of a war zone really.”

Petunia winced. “Sounds... dangerous,” she ventured. “IRA warzone or WW2 warzone, by the way? Are you sure you’re safe in there?”

“We’re about as safe as can be- no Death Eaters would dare attack the Leaky Cauldron since it’s so close to the muggle world, and Hogwarts is warded so that no intruders can come in without some kind of invitation,” Lily explained, looking rather casual despite the fact that most of the other patrons all seemed to carry some kind of wariness, as if expecting an attack of some kind.

“Right,” Petunia noted, also noticing the wariness. “...what kind of a name is ‘Death Eater’ and are they as necrocannibalistic as they sound?”

“They’re… a bunch of rich asshole ponces. Racist too,” Lily huffed, rolling her eyes and leaning back in her chair. “They don’t eat corpses, but they  _ are _ horrible, terrible racist people and I’d like to plant my mary janes so far up their arses that they spit shine my heel.”

“So the wizards have  _ racism _ too?” Petunia asked, raising her eyebrows. “Why do you even  _ bother _ to be part of that community again?”

“So I can learn how to point a stick at someone and make them explode,” Lily deadpanned, sliding her wand out of her sleeve and twirling it like a pencil between her fingers. “Which is totally something I can do if I learn the right spells from Defense class.”

Petunia paused. “...I’ll give you that,” she allowed, “But I’m pretty sure I can do that too. I just need a gun and  _ boom _ .”

“Guns don’t explode people,” Lily pointed out. “Also I’m pretty sure you need a licence for that.”

“... Fair enough. I guess guns are rather more suspicious than a wand and some magic,” Petunia muttered, shaking her head and sighing. “Anyway, didn’t you also mention something about potions? I thought that was one of your subjects, or at least, mum and dad kept raving on about how good you were at them back before I left.”

“Right,” Lily sighed. “Well... I suppose I  _ am _ pretty good, yes... Almost as good as Snape. I wonder if I should...”

“Step on him?” Petunia suggested. “Acquire a competent minion while you’re at it?”

“Wh- no! Get your mind out of the gutter!” Lily immediately sputtered, turning bright red as she waved her hands frantically. “I was just wondering if I should try and make up with Severus, but… well, he made his opinion of me pretty clear when he- well. Y’know.”

“I was being serious,” Petunia deadpanned. “He was always a horrible little boy, but he’d probably make for a good minion. No, really. Step on him. I’m  _ certain _ you’ll get somewhere.”

“And get my shoes all dirty?” Lily snickered, rolling her eyes before sighing again. “But no, you’re right. If I kick him right in his whiny bollocks, maybe he’ll actually apologize. But I suppose it’s a little awkward if I just do it out of the blue after ignoring him for the better part of half a year…”

“Tell him it’s from me,” Petunia suggested.

“That could work,” Lily nodded, grinning viciously as she tapped her fingers together in an ominous manner. “I suppose I could get James to help- actually no, he’d likely make it  _ worse _ than before… even if he would be good for holding Severus down while I kick him in the nads.”

“You can always use the mutt you talked about,” Petunia pointed out. “Or, I dunno. Do you have any other male friends?”

“Not as many as I’d like, honestly,” Lily shook her head, sighing a bit. “Well… maybe I can get Amelia to do it. She’s always loved a good scrap.”

“‘Amelia’?” Petunia asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “Is somebody taking a detour across the fence perhaps?”

“Wh- Oh, no, Amelia’s just my roommate. She’s got her own thing going on right now,” Lily shook her head, sitting back and pursing her lips. “She’s also got a thing for kicking people real hard in the nads if she thinks they’re being arseheads.”

“Fair,” Petunia agreed. “...why are we talking about Snake again? What else is up?”

Lily shrugged and shook her head. “Y’know, other than that, not a whole lot. School is… school. It kinda loses its charm even if it  _ is _ magic school.”

“... Yeah, that makes sense,” Petunia sighed, then shook her head. “Well, if that’s all, I’ll head out now. My lunch break is almost over and it takes a bit to walk back to the office.”

“Alright then, see you around Christmas,” Lily waved, giving Petunia a hug before the sisters separated. “I’ll write you, alright?”

“Yeah- see you then.”


	11. Sachiel Is Puzzled

“...Do you think we’re missing something sometimes?” Sachiel asked out of the blue on one cold November morning. “Like, not something  _ important, _ but something tiny?”

“Not particularly, why?” Petunia asked idly, spreading jam on her toast as she eyed the clock, wondering if she had time for something more substantial today than jam on toast and a cup of instant coffee to wake her up. 

“Just a feeling,” Sachiel murmured. “I’m not sure what it is.”

“Well, if you do figure out what it is, let me know,” Petunia murmured, leaning over and kissing Sachiel gently on the lips. “And make sure you aren’t late for work, dear.”

“Yes dear,” Sachiel blushed. “...I think I lost my train of thought.”

Petunia giggled and patted Sachiel on the head, smiling brightly before turning and facing the clock. “Well then best find it before it’s time to go. Ah, darn, I gotta go already. See you tonight, dear.”

With that, Petunia downed her cup of coffee in one go, wincing at the bitter taste and reminding herself to buy more tea after work before rushing out the door with her toast in hand.

“Try not to trip over any anime tropes!” Sachiel yelled after her, before smacking herself. Oh right. Anime tropes weren’t a thing yet.

And now she was alone. All alone. By herself.

With nothing to keep her occupied but breakfast and the fact that her shift started soon and she should really hurry up and get going.

But other than that, nothing. 

So…

“... What the  _ hell _ was I thinking about earlier?” Sachiel muttered, rubbing her forehead and pursing her lips idly as she sat back in her chair, crossing her arms as she stared at the clock, listening to it tick away the seconds as she tried to resurrect her previous train of thought.

That question occupied her through breakfast, out of the door, and all the way past the first shift before she finally figured something out.

Unfortunately, the something wasn’t very helpful either.

It was when she was staring at the somewhat-stepthrough pillar that she had that spark. “Oh. Right. How was our apartment magical, again?”

She paused and frowned, grumbling as she kept her thoughts to herself while working. 

“Dammit, I can’t even go back and check now that I’m at work,” Sachiel grumbled, continuing to move luggage around and make sure everything was in tip top shape for the trains before scooting off and using the time between arriving and departing trains to find a scrap of paper to write down her thoughts on just so she wouldn’t forget later.

This was going to bother her for the rest of the day, she just knew it... 

“Excuse me, miss?” someone asked her, tapping her shoulder a bit frantically. “Are you alright? You’ve been staring at that pillar for a while now…”

"Oh, sorry about that, luv," Sachiel apologized, turning around and looking at the man behind her. "I was just lost in thought, mister. What can I do for ya? Do you need me to take care of your luggage- oh, you don't have any. Anything else I can help you with?" 

“Oh, um, no we were just wondering if you were alright,” the man shook his head and took a step back, a pensive look on his face as he chewed his lip. “My wife and I were actually just coming off the three thirty- er, anyway, I’m Oren, Oren Thomas. This is my darling lady wife, Shana.”

“Hello!” the lady next to Oren waved, smiling at Sachiel as she spoke up. Sachiel idly noted that Oren seemed to have that same tingly feeling as the pillar behind her, and pursed her lips before smiling in return.

“Well, I’m completely fine Mister Thomas. Thanks for asking, though!” Sachiel chirped, bouncing lightly and the balls of her feet for emphasis.

"Well, if you're sure," the man replied dubiously. He seemed to think about something for a split second. "Actually, there is something. Would you be able to tell me if there's the eleven o'clock from nine and three quarters still going out, or have they discontinued it?" 

Sachiel blinked slowly and turned to the other woman, who seemed a little bit confused as to what her husband was saying. She pursed her lips, then shrugged and made a so-so motion with her hand. “I couldn’t say, honestly. I don’t work in that part of the station, but I’m sure there’s someone around who can give you the right answer.”

She furrowed her brow. "Can't say I recall an eleven o'clock train though." 

“Well, that’s a shame- thanks though!” Oren shrugged and smiled, seemingly satisfied with Sachiel’s answer. He and his wife turned away a few moments later, quietly discussing something with hushed tones that Sachiel thought was probably about the interaction they’d just had.

“That was weird,” Sachiel muttered and got back to work.

<>

“... Well, what a stroke of coincidence,” Sachiel murmured idly, blinking a bit as she picked up some groceries after work, staring across the store at where the Thomases were shopping as well. “They must be staying around here- not a surprise, since it’s so close to the station…”

“Oh hey,” she muttered not too long after, spotting the pair in the lobby of the tenement house. “That sure is a happenstance.”

“Oh, hello again!” Mrs. Thomas, whose name Sachiel had definitely been told earlier but couldn’t for the life of her remember, waved at Sachiel and smiled, motioning at the front desk. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here! Are you staying here?”

“Have been since summer,” Sachiel nodded. “And, um. You?”

“We decided that this place would be a wonderful place to stay,” Shana- that was her name, right. How could she forget- responded, shrugging as Oren signed some paperwork in the background. “It’s amazingly cheap, and the rooms are- well, the empty ones are a bit dirty, but other than that they’re amazingly well furnished.”

“...I noticed,” Sachiel nodded along. “Well, uh, good to have you as neighbors?”

Shana nodded, continuing to smile as she turned back to her husband and patted him on the arm. “Oren look, it’s that nice girl from the station, she lives here too!”

"What a coincidence," Oren echoed weakly, looking as awkward as Sachiel felt. 

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, awkwardly standing there before Petunia entered the lobby and immediately ran up to Sachiel. “Oh, you’re back already, luv! Sorry I’m a bit late- what are you doing just standing in the lobby?”

"New neighbours," Sachiel offered. "Third time meeting them today." 

Petunia turned and narrowed her eyes slightly. "A happenstance, is it?" 

"...I guess?" Sachiel shrugged. "I mean, it is a bit weird, but..." 

"Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action," Petunia countered immediately. "Where did you say you first met again?" 

“At the station, actually,” Sachiel answered, waving her goodbyes to the Thomases as they walked away towards the elevator. “That man… he said something about an eleven o’ clock train from platform nine and three quarters… I think he might be a wizard in disguise or something, if I remember anything from Lily’s letters to you.”

Petunia  _ hummed.  _ "I  _ see,"  _ she murmured. "Well, no use worrying over it too much now. Say, did you figure out what was bothering you in the morning?" 

“Oh right! I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget!” Sachiel dug through her pockets before procuring a slip of paper, upon which was written the single phrase “why is the apartment magic” followed by several question marks and underlined three times. “I was wondering why the apartment building feels like it’s magic!”

Petunia stared down at it. "...Do you want to hunt down Old Man Fimbleton and demand answers?" she asked idly. 

“Eh, not particularly. I don’t think I’ve even seen the old codger since we first met him in that shady alleyway,” Sachiel replied, rubbing her chin as she stared at the receptionist, who was currently just surreptitiously reading a book beneath the check in counter. “... Maybe we could ask the receptionist lady? She… feels like she has magic.”

"How long have you been able to do that?" Petunia asked. "No, wait, let me rephrase - how long since you've  _ figured out  _ you can do that?" 

“This morning when I woke up,” Sachiel immediately answered without hesitation, giving Petunia a rather clueless look at the same time. “Why do you ask?”

"That tracks," Petunia nodded. "C'mon. Let's go talk to the receptionist." 

The receptionist, as it turned out, was a lovely lady by the name of Emilia Jones, who smiled at them as they approached and folded her hands in her lap. “What can I do for you today, Ms. Evans, Ms. Valliere?”

“Is this place a  _ magic _ honeytrap?” Petunia demanded right off the bat. “Does the place  _ collect _ them or something?”

“Well, no, the only enchantments on the building are for protection and concealment. The reason why people come here is because of our astoundingly low rates and astoundingly high quality… well, barring the fact that our rooms tend to get a bit dusty when no one uses them,” Emilia responded, taking Petunia’s question in stride without even a hint of consternation. Quite professional, she was. Then again, it wasn’t like she couldn’t hear them considering they had been discussing just that barely ten feet away from the counter before they approached.

“Am  _ I _ cursed?” Petunia asked rhetorically.

“I don’t really sense any tingling feelings from you,” Sachiel answered promptly. “...Well, aside from one, but that’s a different kind of tingly feeling...”

“I’m sure you would notice if you were cursed,” Emilia answered calmly, somehow managing to keep from rolling her eyes out of sheer professionalism. “Is there anything else I can do for you two?”

“I think that’s all,” Sachiel said sheepishly. “Thank you for talking to us.”

“Of course. You two have a good day,” Emilia smiled and waved the two of them off, returning to… whatever it was she was supposed to be doing at the moment.

“... Well I guess that answers that,” Petunia muttered idly as they stepped into the elevator, yawning a bit and crossing her arms. “Mm… a bit anticlimactic, in my opinion.”

"Would a kiss cheer you up, love?" Sachiel asked, blushing faintly. 

“It would, actually. It’s been a long day and I could use a little pick me up,” Petunia smiled, hugging Sachiel close and kissing her gently. “I missed you all day, love.”

Sachiel, conversely, was reduced to too much of a blushing mess to respond.


	12. Many things happen (but not really)

_ “Crimson and clover, over and over~ Crimson and clover, over and over~” _

Petunia crooned into the microphone in her hands, pretending to herself that she was on a massive stage, festooned with lights and speakers the size of cars as Sachiel strummed her guitar, the sound coming out clear and beautiful despite the fact that they were two girls playing in a slightly run down pub on open mic night, doing covers of an already almost decade old song.

Then again, every band had to begin  _ somewhere, _ right?

_ “Yeah, my mind’s such a sweet thing,” _ she sang, closing her eyes.  _ “I wanna do everything...” _

And so, she swayed with the beat of the song, singing her heart out as the world fell away from her, eyes closed and hands wrapped tightly around the microphone, only aware of Sachiel standing right behind her, using both hands to act as lead guitar and percussion as she strummed and tapped away on the beat up instrument.

And it was…

It was…

Perfect.

A quiet little moment in time, just the two of them pouring their emotions into a song that they only played because they wanted it.

As the last notes rang out into the suddenly quiet pub, a smattering of applause rung out from among the patrons.

Petunia smiled.

“See? I told you we’d do fine,” Sachiel murmured, coming up behind her and resting her arm against Petunia’s shoulder, waving out to the crowd as the curtains drew closed and they walked offstage. “And, we got a nice lil bonus from that too.”

“I shouldn’t have doubted you,” Petunia agreed. “This was... really fun, if I’m being honest here...”

“Mhmm! And think about it, we could do this a lot more often if you want,” Sachiel grinned, looping her arm fully around Petunia’s shoulders and kissing her on the cheek. “Well, y’know, if we got some more people to join us. Be nice to have a drummer.”

“...We’ll see,” Petunia hedged. “Say, Christmas is coming soon... is there anything you’d want?”

“You, wrapped up all pretty in only a red ribbon?” Sachiel asked hopefully, grinning lewdly at Petunia as she waggled her eyebrows.

Petunia tried to imagine that - unfortunately, all she managed was a blushing, stuttering mess as she sank to her knees and hid her face in her hands.

“Whoa, hey, c’mon get up off of there,” Sachiel, immediately started fretting over Petunia, blushing as well as she tugged her girlfriend back to her feet gently. “The floor’s dirty over here, at least wait til we get somewhere cleaner…”

“Y-you pervert,” Petunia accused, still blushing bright red.

“Only for you, love,” Sachiel grinned, easily winking at Petunia and giving her a playful swat across her rear. “Only for you~”

"You're incorrigible," Petunia muttered. "Why did I fall in love with you?" 

“My charm and wit and rockin’ tits, probably,” Sachiel snickered, thrusting out her chest and bouncing in place for good measure. “And my sparkling personality, of course~”

“No, that can’t be it,” Petunia disagreed, having adopted a playful expression. “Must be something else...”

“Well, then it’s probably my bootylicious ass,” Sachiel snickered, ribbing Petunia and then winking saucily. “Or maybe… it’s this~”

Without another word, and without warning, Sachiel darted forward and pressed her lips to Petunia’s, kissing her deeply and passionately and fisting her hand into Petunia’s hair as she pressed their bodies close together.

Petunia, in her part, reprociated  _ enthusiastically, _ slamming Sachiel into the nearest wall and kissing with a fervor you wouldn’t have guessed from just looking at her.

This continued for several minutes.

<>

“You know, I’m starting to think that those dears down on the third floor are romantically involved,” Shana Thomas muttered one evening as she and her husband drank their tea and picked at a simple but filling meal. “I mean, what with them always holding hands… and standing very close to each other… and calling each other pet names.”

“Could be,” Oren agreed. “Is that our business though? Are they hurting us with it?”

“Mm, no, but they’re remarkably bad at hiding it,” Shana responded, humming to herself as she twiddled her thumbs. “Do you think they need any of our help? They must be running themselves ragged, trying to afford this apartment, even with the both of them working…”

“...shouldn’t we ask first?” Oren countered. “It seems like a more... polite thing to do...”

“Is my big strong husband afraid of talking to a pair of teenage girls?” Shana teased. “I don’t think they’re going to bite you...”

“Wh- no, I’m not afraid!” Oren spluttered, holding his hand over his chest, feigning a deep wound from his wife’s words. “It’s just er- uh… well… maybe you should ask?”

Shana raised a deeply unamused eyebrow. “...Oren.”

“What? I just think that they might respond better to a lady asking instead of a man,” Oren defended himself weakly, waving his hand a bit in an attempt to save face. “... Also that Sachiel girl scares me a little.”

Shana giggled. “Oh you big baby. Very well, I’ll go talk to them - and you can even stay put in here if it makes you feel safer~!”

“Ha ha,” Oren grumbled, pouting a bit harder as his own beloved wife laughed at his fear of a teenager. “I’m serious by the way. I don’t know why, but something about that Sachiel girl gives me the willies- and it’s not just the way she dresses, I can tell you that much.”

“Then I can ask about that, too,” Shana shrugged.

“Thank you, dear,” Oren sighed.

<>

“Potter,” Lily enunciated clearly, speaking the word as if it were some kind of a filthy taste in her mouth- not that it mattered to one James Potter, who perked up as if  _ he _ were the dog animagus and immediately turned to face the one he continuously called (in the privacy of his mind) his fiery haired war goddess.

“Yes, my dearest Lily-flower?”

“I have need of your owl again,” Lily continued, rolling her eyes at the theatrics and holding out a letter to the idiot that was currently trying to get in her trousers. “Send this as soon as possible, will you?”

James nodded rapidly. “At once, my darling Red Queen!” He scurried away, letter in hand.

“Wow, he is laying it on  _ thick _ ,” Sirius muttered, unable to even laugh at how pathetic James was acting. “I can’t believe he turned around so fast.”

“We’re teenage boys and James has the mother of all crushes on Evans, what do you expect, subtlety?” Remus deadpanned, rolling his eyes while Peter just shrugged and nibbled on a stick of jerky he’d apparently hidden in his robes.

“As if you lot are any better during Hogsmeade weekends,” Lily huffed, raising two fingers in an obscene salute. “Fawning over Rosmerta and any pretty lass in the streets as if you had anything to offer.”

“I have plenty to offer!” Sirius gasped, completely affronted by Lily’s harsh words. “These charming good looks, my immense intelligence!”

“Your beard looks like you glued pubes to your face and you’re barely passing half your classes,” Lily shot back. “The only thing you have to offer is your bottomless stomach.”

The three boys gasped

“... I’m gonna go lay down in a corner and cry now,” Sirius muttered, wincing theatrically and pretending to sob a few times for good measure. “You wound my heart, Lily flower.”

“That’s saying a bit much about the materials one starts out with,” Lily snarked. “Not even my sister would find you attractive.”

“Your sister is a lesbian,” Remus deadpanned. “She wouldn’t find us attractive if we were the prime specimens of masculinity.”

“And she has her own girl, doesn’t she?” Peter shrugged, continuing to nibble away at his snack. “Not really a good example, that.”

“I was hoping you’d have forgotten that,” Lily groused, “so that it would sound so much more vicious than it actually was, but go off I guess...”

“I actually kinda feel better about myself now,” Sirius chuckled, grinning at Lily’s rather put out expression. She flipped him off anyway.

“...does this mean that you’re actually talking with us now?” Peter checked.

“It seems so,” Lily deadpanned. “What of it?

“Just checking,” the boy noted.

“Well, that’ll be all then,” Lily nodded and watched as James sprinted down the hallway again, heading towards their group before spinning around and walking away with a dramatic, billowing flourish of her robes.

Severus had taught her how to do that, and it was the one thing she still enjoyed about their friendship.

“ _ God _ I love it when she does that,” she heard James breathe behind her.

“Didn’t Snape do it first?” Remus answered dryly. “Maybe we should be questioning all of your interactions with him first, James?”

“You take that back!”

Lily suppressed a snort.

_ Boys.  _ Honestly.

Still, Petunia’s advice from the other week rang loud in her ears- she really should try and seek out Severus. Maybe she’d be able to change his mind. Or maybe she’d have an excuse to kick him in the jewels and  _ then _ he’d stop being a nonce.

...She should get on that, actually…

Several minutes later, Lily’s boot kicked open the door to the Slytherin common room, a trembling first year halfway hidden behind her after having unlocked said door for the terrifying Gryffindor.

“Severus!” she called out cheerfully, marching up to the shocked and now rather pale looking lad with the ominous presence of a thousand angry dragons. “You know, I’ve been doing some thinking… an I feel like we need to have a  _ chat _ .”

"This is the  _ Slytherin  _ common room," Regulus Black tried to point out, feebly, from the side. "Can you, uh....." 

He faltered under Lily’s withering glare. "...On second thought, take it outside? Please?" 

“As you wish,” Lily bowed sarcastically, then quickly lifted Severus with a Levicorpus and strode out of the common room.

The other students pretended that they didn’t hear Snape begging for their assistance. Many as they were, none of them quite felt like getting on the bad side of a woman wearing steel toed boots whose sort-of boyfriend was also the leader of the single most notorious group of pranksters in the school.

Itching powder paired with bruised testicles was not an experiment they were keen on trying, as far as things went.


	13. Some More Slice of Life

“-And now we’re friends again!” Lily grinned, while Severus just nodded awkwardly off to the side, still wincing every time he shifted in his seat.

“... It mostly just looks like you kicked the crap out of him until he started apologizing,” Petunia deadpanned.

“Well, yeah,” Lily admitted. “You gave me the idea, you know, and you can’t deny it worked, you know?”

“I mean, true, but I can’t say I was expecting it to go so quickly,” Petunia shrugged. Meanwhile, Sachiel just scooted over and held her hand out across the table. 

“Hello! I’m Sachiel, you must be Severus! I’ve heard some… well, mostly Lily whining about you being a jerk but I’m sure she said some nice things about you as well,” she chirped.

Snape  _ stared  _ at her. Then eyed Petunia, who responded with an unamused, protective eyebrow. His gaze slid back to Sachiel.

“Well met,” he said carefully, taking the girl’s hand.

“Nice to meet you- so, you’re a wizard, right?” Sachiel immediately began asking Severus questions, throwing the dour looking boy off balance as she leaned in close. “I know some of what that involves, but only what Lily tells us and that stuff is usually just boring school stuff. Is there anything cool over at that school of yours or is it just like a normal school?”

“...Define ‘cool’,” Severus began carefully.

Petunia snickered into her hand, leaning back on her couch as ‘the horrible boy from Spinner’s End’ started telling her girlfriend about Hogwarts. “I’m actually enjoying this,” she remarked. “Go figure.”

“It is rather nice isn’t it?” Lily smiled, watching as Sachiel continued invading Severus’ personal space and making the boy look rather uncomfortable- less because of what Sachiel was asking and more about the fact that one of Sachiel’s spiked bracelets was digging into the poor lad’s thigh. “D’you reckon we should save him before he gets a new hole in his leg?”

Petunia thought for a minute. And another. And-

“ _ Tuney, _ ” Lily scolded, but she was fighting a smile. “You’re  _ still _ mean.”

“Oh, fine, fine,” Petunia chuckled, then gently tapped Sachiel’s shoulder to get her attention. “Love, you’re drilling a hole into the poor boy’s thigh- give him a bit of space, would you?”

The other girl gave a start, jerking back from Snape as she finally noticed his pained expression. “Oh gosh - I’m sorry! I didn’t notice-!”

“It’s…. Ow… alright…” Severus grimaced, rubbing the feeling back into his leg and mostly feeling as if he’d been wrung dry- both by the sheer stabbing pain of having a stainless steel spike drive into his femoral artery, and from the sheer depth of interrogation Sachiel had put him through. “I feel as though this is only karmic punishment for some misdeed I’ve yet to commit.”

“Probably,” Sachiel chirped. “Things are weird like that around here.”

“As it were, Severus, I think we’re running out of time- it’s almost four and we still need to floo back to Hogsmeade so we can get to the carriages by five,” Lily stood up, wiping her hands and mouth and tossing her napkin down. “Petunia, Sachiel, it’s been great meeting up with you again- thanks for lunch by the way, it was wonderful.”

Severus nodded, still rubbing his thigh as he stood up and halfway hobbled away from the table. 

Petunia snickered. “You two are welcome to stop by during Christmas,” she offered. “I’m  _ sure _ I can spare a broom closet for you two.”

“Oh hush,” Lily rolled her eyes, sweeping away from their table at the Leaky Cauldron with a dramatic flourish, with Severus doing much the same- albeit more subdued given that he was halfway limping after Lily. “Goodbye now, Tuney!”

“Bye,” Petunia murmured, watching her sister disappear into the fireplace in a flush of green flames. “...I will never get used to that sight.”

“It’s quite pretty isn’t it?” Sachiel mentioned idly, staring off into the fireplace with a slight grin. “Oh hey, y’know what I was thinking of just now? We should go dancing!”

"Dancing?" Petunia inquired, raising her eyebrows. "And what  _ kind  _ of dancing did you have in mind?" 

“Well, I was thinking we could go to a club, y’know? Or a concert even!” Sachiel answered, grinning and latching onto Petunia with a happy sigh. “Nothing too fancy, but just something we can do for a good time!”

Petunia rolled her eyes. “I meant I’m in the mood for tango,” she corrected.

“The horizontal kind at home or the actual tango?” Sachiel asked, wiggling her fingers with something approaching a salacious grin stretching across her face.

Petunia flushed, but maintained her smile. “The, hm, former as it were. Actually.”

“Oh I getcha~” Sachiel’s grin widened further as she grasped Petunia’s hand and stood, almost picking up her girlfriend in the same motion. “Onwards! To the apartment!”

<>

“I’m getting the strangest urge to high-five my sister right now,” Lily murmured.

“I have no idea what that means but I’m going to assume it’s a bad thing,” Severus deadpanned, rolling his eyes at Lily before making grabby motions in her general direction. “Now hand over the wormwood, it’s almost time to add it to the cauldron. And stay focused for Merlin’s sake- we’ve managed to keep a clean Potions record for this long and I’m not about to break it now.”

“Aye, aye,” Lily groused, scooping up the wormwood and handing it to her partner. “I can’t  _ wait _ for Christmas to get here already...”

“You and just about everyone else in the school,” Severus muttered, carefully stirring the potion and tutting under his breath. “Hmm… something’s a bit off with this recipe… not quite as effective as I’d like.”

“Perhaps add a stir clockwise?” Lily suggested, peering into the cauldron. “Seems like it’d make for a good stabilizer...”

“Perhaps,” Severus nodded, idly tapping his foot against the floor as he did as Lily suggested, blinking in surprise as the potion immediately changed color ever so slightly- a perfect, shimmery hue. “... Well, that was convenient.”

“I am an absolute font of good ideas,” Lily grinned smugly.

“The last good idea you had was kicking my arse so hard my head popped out of it,” Severus drawled, flicking Lily’s shoulder irritably. “This was just coincidence.”

“I’m full of  _ other _ good ideas too,” Lily pointed out. “Unlike  _ some _ boys in our class.” She ignored Black’s exasperated  _ gasp _ from behind her. “Case in point.”

“I’ll have you know that I’m  _ full _ of great ideas!” Sirius protested, slamming his hand down against his table… and destabilizing his potion. “Oh shi-!”

“Way to prove a point,” Lily deadpanned, watching Sirius’ potion explode- thankfully, into harmless (mostly) boiling sludge that just left an unpleasant smell lingering on both Sirius and James, who’d been working with Sirius.

“...I’m okay!” the moron declared. Lily rolled her eyes.

“One can only hope that one of these days one of Black’s antics results in his sterilization,” Severus muttered, watching Professor Slughorn vanish the mess and send the two Gryffindors to the infirmary just in case. “Idiocy like that should not be allowed to breed.”

“He’s a ‘Pureblood’,” Lily shrugged indifferently. “Inbreeding does that to a species.”

“So it does. So it does.” Severus’ lip curled into something resembling an impish smirk, only lasting long enough for Sirius to return the gesture with an incredibly rude one of his own. “Hmph. Idiot.”

“And somehow, these are the people I surround myself with,” Lily sighed. “Let’s just finish up here and go, shall we?”

“I have  _ no _ idea why you do,” Severus sighed. “...Yeah, let’s.”

<>

“So… you two mentioned you started a band?” Shana asked idly one day, whilst Sachiel and Petunia were over in the Thomas’ apartment for afternoon tea. “How’s that going for you?”

“It’s going great!” Sachiel enthused. “I think we’re really hitting it off!”

“We’re doing covers of old songs in pubs for money,” Petunia deadpanned. “I love it.”

“... Are you sure?” Shana asked, raising an eyebrow at Petunia’s droll expression. “Because it kind of just looks like you’re taking the piss right now.”

“...Too much deadpan,” Petunia muttered. “No, I actually  _ do _ love it, I’m just holding a realistic goal here...”

“Ah, alright. Well, as long as you two are happy,” Shana nodded, then shrugged. “For me, though, I feel like life is getting a bit lonely. Oren’s been off on a business trip and even though he writes often, it’s… well, it’s a bit rough.”

“We can still keep you company, though,” Petunia pointed out. “I mean- not  _ company _ company, I don’t think we’re  _ that _ close, but... oh, you know what I mean!”

“... Yeah,” Shana nodded, a little bit weirded out by Petunia’s spluttering as she took a sip of her tea. “Well, it  _ is _ nice having you girls around. Even if I  _ would _ prefer Oren being back.”

“...you’re welcome,” Petunia sighed, taking the provided lifeline without question. 

“Speaking of, where does Oren even work that he has to go on so many business trips anyway?” Sachiel asked, tilting her head to the side and staring off at nothing as she mulled that question over in her head. “Like, surely they’d let him stay home longer.”

“Not sure… he always says it’s a company that helps supply law enforcement agencies, but that really doesn’t explain why they moved us out here into London nor why he needs to go up to Scotland so much…” Shana shrugged, setting her cup down and biting into a biscuit instead. “The money is good, at least, and I know damn well he’s not cheating on me, so I guess it’s fine if he has some secrets. As long as no one’s getting hurt.”

Petunia stared into space for a long moment, before letting out a  _ deep _ sigh and starting to beat her head against the table. Sachiel, looking somewhat confused, just patted Petunia on the shoulder.

“... Petunia dear are you alright?” Shana asked, staring at Petunia in confusion but not really getting up to do anything even though Petunia’s antics were making the dishes rattle around on the table. “I think you should probably stop doing that, you might hurt yourself.”

“Just bemoaning my fate in running into a certain coincidence over and over,” Petunia replied, not bothering to raise her head. “I’m fine.”

“.... I’m really not sure what that means, so let’s just talk about something else, then,” Shana deadpanned.

“She means- actually it’s kind of a secret so yeah let’s move on,” Sachiel paused and tilted her head. “Have you been listening to the radio recently? There’s a lot of good music coming out these days.”

“I’m going to question you on that topic you’re trying to steer me away from later,” Shana noted, “But yes, I have noticed. Tell me more?”

Chuckling nervously, Sachiel launched into an excited rant about Queen.


	14. The Angel Speaks

“Oren Thomas…. Can’t say I’ve ever heard of a man by that name before, but then again, if he’s got a muggle wife then he’s probably not a very famous wizard at all,” Lily mentioned idly, having met up with Petunia and Sachiel again- only for a quick lunch down at the Leaky Cauldron, though with how things were going in the wizarding world she definitely couldn’t stay long. “I suppose I’ll ask around- maybe during one of the holidays.”

“The holidays are in a  _ week, _ ” Petunia deadpanned. “You  _ really _ didn’t have to run over just because I mentioned having a possible wizard as a neighbor in my last letter. You’re absolutely invited to my place for Christmas, by the way, and that’s non-negotiable.”

“Well, that’s my Christmas plans sorted,” Lily snickered, then shrugged. “And of course I did, it’s not like I have much in the way of classes right now.”

“I still have a job, though,” Petunia deadpanned. “A job I should get back to - but hey. Sachi’s lunch break is longer.” She rose, smiling. “Get to know each other, yeah?”

“Sure,” Lily nodded and grinned, waving idly at Petunia as the other girl left before turning to Sachiel. “.... Hm. Now what do we talk about?”

Sachiel tapped her fingers together. “I, um. Are you and Tuney okay? Like, really actually okay?”

“.... Mm…. hard to say,” Lily answered, crossing her legs and not really looking at anything in particular as she tried to put her feelings into words. “I think that… after everything, we’re still trying to work through the last few years, but I also think that… we’re in a much better place than we ever have been. Mostly because I’ve actually been listening to her lately.”

“I’m glad,” Sachiel grinned. “Soooooo.... What’s it like, being a witch?”

“Honestly, you’d think it’d be more exciting than it really is, but most of the time it’s basically just normal school but with more wand waving and butchered latin,” Lily shrugged, not really knowing what to say. “It was amazing at first but now it’s just… routine.”

Sachiel blinked. “But it shouldn’t be,” she said. “What’s a world without wonder?”

“Well, that’s school for you- even when it’s chaotic and full of entertaining events, it always goes right back to the normal routine,” Lily shrugged again, frowning a bit. “It’s not like there isn’t wonder, it’s just that school tends to suck the fun out of things, even magic.”

“...What school sucks  _ fun _ out of things?” Sachiel questioned incredulously.

“... A normal one?” Lily raised an eyebrow at Sachiel. “Don’t get me wrong, Hogwarts is great, but even a magic school has its fair share of shit classes and boring lecture material.”

“But when I was staying at the Academy-” Sachiel began, before cutting herself off with a very queer look on her face. 

“...You okay?” Lily asked, waving her hand in front of the other girl’s face.

Sachiel didn’t answer right away, letting her face fall into her hands as she let out a long groan. “...Why does your sister still like a big dumb stupid moron that is me?” she asked plaintively.

“Because you’re the best thing to happen to her in the last… oh, I don’t know, sixteen or so years of her life?” Lily shrugged, pausing a bit and thinking her words over. “... You know, I thought I was exaggerating that but I’m pretty sure that you actually  _ are _ the best thing to happen to Tuney in the years since I was born. And…  _ wow _ that’s sad.”

“I think I may have stayed at a magic school a while,” Sachiel mumbled, “And completely failed to register it as a, magic and b, that magic was a thing in the first place.... I’m a complete moron. Complete, total and utter oblivious moron.”

“.... Well, I can’t exactly say how bad that is, but I mean… is it a bad thing?” Lily asked, tilting her head a bit as she looked over at Sachiel with an air of concern. “She loves you, Sachiel. If you tell her, really explain it in full, I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“But I already promised about not lying,” Sachiel moaned, “and I managed to lie anyway! What kind of a girlfriend am I?”

“One who realizes mistakes she made and can easily fix them by just talking to Petunia,” Lily deadpanned. “Just go talk to her about it, she’ll understand. And if she doesn’t… eh. Well, what’s she gonna do, kick out the person paying half her rent?”

From the look on Sachiel’s face, that had been exactly the wrong thing to say.

“Er- uh- that came out wrong!” Lily backpedaled, doing her best to unfuck the mess she’d made. “W-what I’m saying is that she wouldn’t just reject you for no reason if you just explain everything to her!”

“...D-do you r-really think so?” Sachiel sniffed.

“I  _ know _ so,” Lily promised.

<>

“... Sachiel, when you told me you had a secret that you forgot to tell me, I was expecting something like a smoking habit or some other awful thing,” Petunia sighed, hugging Sachiel and patting her back. “I mean, I guess it is kind of a surprise, but you having apparently hung out at a magic school for a while isn’t even nearly relevant to us now.”

“But I promised you I knew nothing of magic before I met your sister and I  _ lied! _ ” the girl wailed, leaning into the hug. “And now you’re not going to love me anymore, and, and-”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Petunia shushed Sachiel gently, leaning back just a bit so she could press a finger to Sachiel’s lips. “Everyone forgets, dear. And honestly, I suspected as much- it is what it is, Sachiel. I’m not going to stop loving you just because you forgot about something that doesn’t matter anymore.”

“...What about something I’m actively hiding?” Sachiel asked in a small voice. “Because hypothetically I’d have no clue how to even bring it up?”

“.... Um. Hm,” Petunia paused and pulled back, staring at Sachiel with a look of concern. “... What kind of secret is this? Is it the bad kind or the weird kind?”

Sachiel shut up, looking like she wasn’t quite sure how to answer the question.

“....” 

Petunia sighed, frowning as she furrowed her brow and counted to ten silently, squeezing Sachiel as she pushed down the rising paranoia in the back of her mind and made her choice.

“Alright then. Tell me anyway.”

Sachiel swallowed thickly and looked up at Petunia, looking more scared than Petunia had ever seen her before.

“... Okay.”

<>

"...So," Petunia declared, looking rather poleaxed, "You're telling me that, instead of your weird parents naming you  _ after  _ a  _ literal, biblical Angel,  _ you in fact  _ are  _ a literal, biblical Angel?" 

Sachiel nodded miserably. 

Petunia chewed her lip and mulled Sachiel’s admission over, furrowing her brow as she tried to figure out how to react to such a declaration. “... Well. It’s certainly not what I expected. Though, if you  _ are _ an Angel… why me? Out of everyone you could have chosen in the world, what makes me so special?”

Sachiel blinked. "But... Why wouldn't I have? You’re strong, and smart, and you have a very powerful personality... How could I not fall for you?" 

“... I…. suppose…” Petunia allowed, putting on a thoughtful frown as she looked to the side. “But… you’re an  _ Angel _ … surely there must be loads of people who are stronger or smarter or just… better than I?”

“... Well, it also helps that you’re very pretty,” Sachiel admitted with an awkward chuckle. “... And that you were the first person I met when I came here.”

“...So if you’d, say, met my sister first, you’d have fallen for her? As an example?” Petunia tested, looking faintly perturbed.

“Mmm… well, Lily  _ is _ kind of pretty, but she’s definitely not my type, and your soul called to me  _ way _ more,” Sachiel explained, rocking her hand side to side a bit. “I mean, I would have made friends with her, but… you’re really the only one for me.”

Petunia took a deep breath again, chewing her lip. “... Well. I suppose it does no good to dwell on what-ifs and maybes. But as long as we can keep this relationship of ours going steady… I don’t think we really need to bother with anything else.”


	15. A Christmas-y Mood

“Merry Christmas, annoying little bastards!” Petunia declared with a wide smile on her face as Lily and Snape traipsed through the door, casting annoyed glares towards her. “I haven’t seen you in  _ so _ long!”

“It’s been  _ four days, _ ” Lily deadpanned. “It’s not  _ that _ long.”

“Long enough!” Sachiel countered, skipping up to Lily and engulfing her in a brief, but tight hug for a moment before turning to Snape and doing the same. “Welcome! Oh it’s so nice having a bunch of people around, I’ve been cooking up a storm for the last few days!”

“Yes she has,” Petunia agreed, looking extremely pleased with herself. “I’ve gotten a  _ lot _ of good things to eat in the past few days.” She even waggled her eyebrows once. “All  _ sorts _ of things.”

“Petunia!” Lily gasped, smacking her sister on the shoulder. “How lewd!”

“Huh?” Sachiel blinked at Lily’s outburst, scratching her head before snapping her fingers in realization. “Oh, aha! I get it!”

Petunia snickered and gently pushed Lily in return, grinning mischievously. “Ha, just kidding, Lily! No but really, there’s a  _ lot _ of exotic stuff in the fridge- you wouldn’t  _ believe _ how many recipes Sachiel apparently knows!”

“...There’s no way you two  _ haven’t _ been having sex,” Lily accused, eyes narrow.

“Well we  _ have,  _ but we keep it to the bedroom,” Petunia huffed, rolling her eyes a bit. “We stopped trying things in the kitchen the moment we figured out how awful it feels to have ice cold tiles digging into your bum while you’re trying to- well.”

“aND that’s too much information!” Lily decided, looking thoroughly disgusted. “Please. I give. No more. I beg you.”

“Alright, alright,” Petunia laughed, grinning as she led Severus and Lily to the sitting area. “Come, sit, we’ve already got tea on and plenty of snacks to go around!”

“...Charmed,” Severus admitted with a sigh. 

“You’ll grow out of that grumpy phase yet,” Petunia advised. “You weren’t taking your boyfriend, Lily?”

“I would have, but James is still stuck quite firmly in the sycophant territory at the moment, so all I have is my grumpy idiot of a childhood friend,” Lily shrugged, then paused and frowned. “Dammit, Severus I need you to slap me- I think I’m actually catching feelings for the tosser.”

Severus obliged with a hearty smack upside Lily’s head. “Try picking someone more in your league. Like Amelia. Or Alice.”

“Thank you Sev- wait, why do you keep pushing me to get into relationships with the other girls in our year?” Lily raised an eyebrow as she rubbed the spot where Severus slapped her, blinking slowly as she thought over literally every single time that Severus had mentioned some girl or another being a good match for Lily.

“Because all the boys in our age group are either idiots or irrelevant peons and at least ninety percent of the girls are either smart enough to know not to piss you off or very rich and considered beautiful,” Severus deadpanned. “The odds are stacked far more heavily in their favor, and I  _ know _ you’re bisexual.”

“You forgot to include yourself in the boy group,” Petunia noted. “Given up, at last?”

Severus paused, then frowned. “... Let’s change the subject. I’m on the verge of an uncomfortable realization and I would prefer not to do so before dinner.”

Petunia blinked. “You know what, sure. Let’s eat, then?”

<>

“Hmmm….” Sachiel stared out of the window quietly, thoughts running through her mind as she took in the snowy streets of London, already missing the few hours that the snow had before the traffic and the weather had turned it all into a wet mushy slurry of gray and brown. “...Hm….”

"Hm?" Petunia asked, draping herself on her girlfriend's shoulders, and also looking out of the window. "Hm-hmm?" 

“London isn’t very good for Christmas, is it?” Sachiel finally asked, grumbling a bit and huffing, frosting the glass of the window with her breath. “Everything melts into gross slush piles, and even if everything’s all decorated and pretty, it just doesn’t hold up after a few hours…”

Petunia made a face. “Eugh, you’re not wrong. It’s not like there’s much other options though, is there?”

“Well, we could always take a quick trip north…” Sachiel murmured, idly snuggling up against Petunia and thinking it over. “Hmm… actually yeah, neither of us really have a whole lot to do until after New Years, do we? We actually could just take a trip north- I can probably get some money from my Family, shouldn’t be too hard…”

“But what would we even  _ do _ in the north, I ask you?” Petunia murmured, sidling up to Sachiel and nibbling on her earlobe. “We can do  _ this _ right here, after all... all we’d change is the  _ view... _ ”

“Mmmm… true, true,” Sachiel agreed plainly, giggling a bit as Petunia nibbled her ear. “But I still think it’d be nice to see what it’s like up north, considering I haven’t much seen anything around other than Cokeworth and our little side of London.”

Petunia paused. "...Then what are we waiting for? To Scotland!" 

“Aye aye!” Sachiel laughed, leaning back and pressing a kiss to Petunia’s cheek. “Ah, wait what do we  _ pack _ ? I don’t think I have any serious winter clothes- or at least, nothing for how cold Scotland gets.”

  
  


“...Shopping first, then,” Petunia allowed.

<>

“... A thought occurs to me, Sachiel,” Petunia mentioned idly as they rode the train up towards the northern parts of the country, yawning a bit as the sun dipped low on the horizon, the two of them bedecked in wondrously comfortable new winter clothing. “Didn’t… Didn’t Lily say her school was somewhere up around in Scotland?”

“...Could’ve been,” Sachiel agreed. “But it’s not like she’s  _ there, _ is it? Where’d you say she and Sev went again?”

“Love hotel,” Petunia deadpanned, “but I was joking, it’s probably a normal hotel. Honestly, I forgot what it was...”

“Maybe she went to stay with that Potter fellow?” Sachiel suggested, though she phrased it more as a question. “Hmm… wait no, Severus doesn’t like James that much even now… maybe they’re in- oh what’s that town they mentioned- Hogsmeade?”

"...No, seriously, I think I'm on to something about the mythical Grand Swine thing," Petunia mused. 

"...Excuse me?" 

Sachiel and Petunia raised their heads, looking up to the person who had spoken, a blonde teenager slightly older than Sachiel, smiling down at them. "I couldn't help but overhear you mention Hogsmeade - are you two...?" 

She left the question hang in the air. 

“We’re together, yes,” Sachiel answered, then tilted her head and squinted at the blonde a little bit. “... Er, wait, no, that’s not what you were asking was it?”

"We're not  _ locals _ ," Petunia corrected, "but we're familiar with the area, so to speak." She raised an eyebrow, punctuating her incredibly obvious hint. 

“Ahhh, I see,” the blonde smiled and clapped her hands together, sitting down across from Sachiel and Petunia. “Wonderful! I was heading down to the area myself, and as I always like to say- idiots never mess with a group of three! Or- wait no, I don’t think I’ve ever actually said that before, but it  _ is _ safer traveling in a group of three than just two.”

“Quite,” Petunia deadpanned. “I’m Petunia, this is Sachiel, and you are...?” 

She let her own question hang in the air as well.

“Pandora,” the blonde replied cheerfully, the smile never leaving her face as she stared at them both with strikingly silver eyes. “Pandora Shagwell.”

She winked. “Shagwell by name, Shag  _ very _ well by reputation.”

Petunia paused. Looked at Pandora. Looked at Sachiel. Raised an eyebrow. 

“Sachi, are you  _ sure _ you don’t have cousins in Britain?”

“She’s not one of mine, but I wouldn’t mind adopting her into the family,” Sachiel shrugged, snickering at Pandora’s joke. “Er- that is, if you wouldn’t mind.”

"... We'd probably get a bit more official first," Petunia decided. "Er, no offence, Pandora." 

“None taken,” Pandora replied easily with a placid smile. “Oh that reminds me, have either of you heard of crumple horned snorkacks? Xenophilius keeps trying to prove that they exist, and I’m almost certainly convinced that we have something of a thestral situation in regards to them.”

“...Yeah, we don’t know jack about magical creatures,” Petunia admitted, as Sachiel tilted her head.

“...Wonder if Sandalphon counts.”

“She does,” Pandora nodded dreamily, her eyes turning a hazy, misty gold for a moment before she snapped back to attention. “I’m sorry what were we talking about? I went a bit… fuzzy… for a moment there.”

Petunia looked at Sachiel. Sachiel looked at Petunia. Both were wearing identical bewildered expressions. “...Do... you have those fuzzy moments often?” Petunia asked carefully.

“Oh all the time, usually people tell me it comes with me saying strange things about topics I couldn’t possibly know about,” Pandora nodded, not at all fazed by an occurrence that was all too normal for her. “Xeno thinks I might be a seer, but less ‘ooooh, future’ and more ‘brief bouts of synchronous omniscience’... whatever that means.”

"The latter, probably," Sachiel mused. "Certainly tracks with what you said... Although I wonder if the Family has ways of making the synchronicity coexist with you instead of briefly overriding your consciousness - it looks to be kind of annoying if you ask me." 

She blinked, noting the stares. "...What?"

“... Are you sure you aren’t a witch?” Pandora deadpanned. “Because you sound quite like a witch when you say things like that.”

"...Honestly, I have no idea," Sachiel admitted. "I don't think I have any formal education, I didn't figure out I even  _ had  _ magic until I tried to drag Tuney for dinner in the Leaky, and uh..." She scratched the back of her neck. "I'm kind of oblivious? I thought I was just doing  _ really  _ advanced math for the longest time..." 

“... Well, to be fair, Arithmancy is a pretty well respected branch of academics. Not my thing, really. I much prefer magical cryptobiology- after all, with how many species we’ve found already, who knows how many are out there, just hidden from view?” Pandora grinned, almost bouncing in her seat at the thought of finding new and interesting creatures.

“Tons,” Sachiel declared solemnly as Petunia tilted her head.

“...is a platypus a magical animal?”

“Some, yes, though it’s hard to tell which ones are and which ones aren’t until they do something incredibly out of the ordinary,” Pandora nodded idly. “Usually you can tell if one is magical if it’s vaguely shaped like a brick, is some manner of blueish green, and is wearing a brown fedora.”

She paused. Her eyes were golden again.

“... That reference may or may not be about two decades early- Sachiel, are you sure you’re not a prophet? The flow of time seems…  _ strange _ … around you.”

“I am definitely not a prophet,” Sachiel confirmed, looking a bit shifty. “I most certainly can’t tell you what is up with the flow of time around  _ me _ specifically.”

Petunia rolled her eyes. “She knows what’s going on, but we’ve literally just met you,” she translated for Pandora’s sake.

“Ah, yes, that makes sense. Though, I get the feeling that I can at least trust you two enough to walk with me to my boyfriend’s home from Hogsmeade without much issue, or at least, to get us safely into Hogsmeade without needing to deal with any random people,” Pandora mentioned, humming a bit as the train began to slow down. “Ah, we’re stopping. We’ll need to switch lines here, come- I’ll show you the way.”

The two girls exchanged glances. "...Sure," Petunia agreed. "Lead the way." 


	16. Petunia And Sachiel End Up On A Double Date

“Ah, Hogsmeade, home to neither hogs nor mead, as it turns out,” Pandora sighed happily as she walked through the streets of the wizarding town, spinning around to take it all in- the Christmas decorations, the bustling streets, the heavy scent of spices and food lingering in the air. “Though, it does have a pig farm on the outskirts and I  _ think _ a meadery somewhere, so I suppose it’s… partially correct. Just not as much as you’d think.”

"If Christmas had a smell, this would come rather close," Petunia mused. "...why  _ do  _ wizards celebrate Christmas, anyway? Isn't it like, from the same religion as the witch hunts?" 

“Christmas spirit infects  _ everything _ ,” Pandora explained rather matter-of-factly, shrugging as she sort of waved her hands and walked around. “Now c’mon! Xeno’s over in the Three Broomsticks and I want you all to meet him!”

"What sort of a man is named  _ Xeno _ ," Petunia muttered, walking through the doors of the pub and-

"...Ah," she deadpanned. 

“Well, his full name is Xenophilius Lovegood, which is a perfect fit for me,” Pandora explained idly, sauntering up to her very strangely dressed significant other and pecking him on the cheek. “He lives up to the name  _ quite _ well.”

“... The part where his first name basically means strange love or the part where his last name implies he’s good at sex?” Sachiel asked dryly, raising her eyebrow at Xenophilius, who simply blinked slowly at the two girls before motioning for them to sit down.

"Yes," Pandora grinned. "That part exactly!"

“...I’m gonna choose to ignore all of that,” Petunia deadpanned, sitting down with a sigh. “Hi there, I’m Petunia Evans, and this is my girlfriend, Sachiel.”

Xenophilious blinked owlishly another few times, before starting. “Oh! Delighted to meet you! Are you two angels?”

“I- er,” Petunia paused and pursed her lips, looking between Xenophilius and Pandora for a moment before looking over at Sachiel. “... That is-”

“I am, Petunia is still human,” Sachiel explained easily, not at all concerned about hiding her identity as an angel anymore.

“Yes, just blurt it all out to the whole of Wizarding England why don’t you,” Petunia grumbled. “What was the point of keeping it a secret in the first place, then?”

“The keeping it a secret part was only because I er… uh…” Sachiel coughed into her hand and blushed. “... I kept forgetting to bring it up and er… was mostly just afraid of how you’d react.”

Petunia rolled her eyes. "You are  _ such  _ a dork," she groused. "And I'm  _ still  _ in love with you despite that." 

Pandora let out a soft  _ d'awwwww.  _

Xenophilius, meanwhile, just grinned fondly and ordered a round of butterbeers for the table. “Well, that’s one theory put to rest! Angels do exist, and they do indeed walk among us.  _ Fascinating. _ ”

"...I like this guy," Sachiel decided. "He's okay." 

<>

“-and that’s how I got banned from the entire wizarding half of Germany when I was only thirteen,” Xenophilius finished off his anecdote after several long hours, most of which had been dedicated to idle conversation until Xenophilius had gone on a half hour tangent that had only just ended.

“... How in the world did you manage to  _ accidentally _ steal someone’s skeleton without them dying?” Petunia muttered, a little pale in the face as she imagined such an event happening.

“... I don’t think I can ever look at Cadbury Eggs the same way ever again,” Sachiel deadpanned.

“I always love hearing that story,” Pandora sighed dreamily, giggling into her hand.

She got only two weird looks for that one. 

"Anyway!" Xenophilius clapped his hands, grinning. "I've been doing all the talking recently - what about you, miss Angel? What kind of stories could  _ you  _ regale us with?" 

Sachiel paused and blink, pointing at herself silently in question before shaking her head a bit. “Ah-er… honestly, well… There’s only a  _ few _ really long stories I guess I could tell… but I suppose I could- hmm… Well, there was that one time…”

Sachiel continued hemming and hawing a few times, thinking about the various events she’d been through in her life before settling on something innocuous, but still quite… interesting… to say the least.

“Okay so- here’s the story about why my Family has something we like to call the ‘Gator Incident’...”

Petunia raised her eyebrows, leaning forward with a grin. “Was it about the big-lipped...?”

“No, that was the other one- this one involved the noodles,” Sachiel answered, shuddering a bit as she drew forth the memories. “Most of the family doesn’t like to talk about it, but I was  _ just _ far enough out of the splash zone that it was funny instead of traumatizing.”

“...wait, are we actually going to  _ hear _ about a Noodle Incident on-screen?” Pandora asked worriedly, eyes glowing a faint gold again. “I don’t think that’s ever happened before and what the  _ bloody hell _ am I even talking about?”

“Oh right, tight range synchronous omniscience,” Sachiel deadpanned, to which Xenophilius simply nodded and placed his hands over Pandora’s ears so she wouldn’t hear something that would trigger said effect again. “... I can’t help but wonder if that has any deleterious effects on her brain, considering that she always looks vaguely confused when it happens.”

“...I’m not actually sure,” Xenophilius admitted, frowning. “Do you think we should ask someone? My grandmother would know, I think...”

“What  _ does _ your grandmother do, actually?” Petunia asked curiously. “You said  _ something _ about her job when you were telling your story, but...”

“She’s a famous monster hunter, actually,” Xenophilious replied blithely. “Alice Lovegood. She slew the Jabberwocky once, you know?”

Petunia blinked. “...Us Muggles have a story about that, actually,” she said slowly. “Your grandmother is the same Alice?”

“Oh yes, actually- though, grandfather Lewis did change the names around when he wrote that book for publication,” Xenophilius mentioned, scratching his chin a bit. “She wasn’t quite as young as the story when she dropped into the wild realms, but otherwise it’s a fairly accurate narrative.”

“You know,” Petunia drawled, “for whatever reason, I’m  _ absolutely _ not surprised to hear that Lewis Carroll was married to Alice.”

“I can only imagine that they had to change their names a whole bunch, considering that the biography of Lewis Carroll lists his legal name as Charles Dodgson and that he was never listed as being married,” Sachiel mentioned idly, tilting her head a bit. “Unless the non-magical history is different here.”

“Oh, it is,” Xenophilious nodded amicably. “‘Charles Dodgson’ was just a random Muggle name Grandpa invented. And kept.”

“That… yeah that makes a lot of sense,” Petunia nodded, then turned to face Pandora again with a raised eyebrow. “So I guess we know more about Xenophilius’ parentage than I ever asked for, but what about you? And… how did you end up with the name Shagwell?”

“Well, I used a bit of runic magic to retroactively change it,” Pandora answered with a slight smile. “Mostly because I thought it’d be a funny joke to be named Shagwell while dating a man named Lovegood.”

“It’s  _ hilarious,” _ Xenophilius nodded with a bright grin. “Both of our names are sex jokes and it’s a  _ wonderful _ conversation starter.”

“... Well, one part of her is certainly  _ all gifted _ ,” Sachiel mentioned, eyes drifting slowly south now that Pandora had taken off her heavy winter coat and, well-

Melons was an adequate descriptor.

“Eyes up here,” Petunia scolded. Herself or Sachiel, she wasn’t quite sure, but  _ somebody’s _ gaze was drifting.

...It might have been hers, too.

“No no, keep staring,” Pandora chuckled, crossing her arms and grinning shamelessly. “I’m quite proud of the girls here. It’s quite nice to give them the recognition they deserve.”

"...Are you  _ quite sure  _ you're not related to Sachiel?" Petunia deadpanned, wrenching her gaze away from the... Bountiful...  _ Things.  _

“Pretty sure,” Pandora nodded idly, settling back against Xenophilius with an amused smile. Sachiel cleared her throat quietly, slowly drawing her gaze back up to Pandora’s face rather than her chest.

“So uh… er… what do we talk about now?” she asked idly, tapping her nails against the table just to have something to do.

"...I don't know," Petunia admitted. "I haven't gotten that far yet." 

“Hm.” Sachiel agreed.

“Well, I suppose I could talk about my mother, Felicity,” Pandora shrugged, tilting her head a bit. “If I recall, she used to be an Auror- or a spy. Or an assassin? She never was quite clear about that. But she did do government work during the sixties, and I think she may have met her ex-husband around that time?”

Petunia frowned. Something about that sounded familiar, but she couldn’t think of it... “Sure. Tell us more?”

“Well, mum’s ex was a very… how shall I say…” Pandora tapped her chin and frowned, chewing on her lip as she tried to think about the words. “From what she’s told me, he never could make up his mind on whether he was supposed to be a covert operative liaison between the Ministry and the muggle government, or a parody of the quintessential 1960s manwhore. He did have excellent taste in suits, though.”

She paused again. “They did have many happy years together, though… well, at least until he died in a tragic boating accident- I’m told that there were sharks and ramps involved, and possibly a very cinematic chase sequence.”

Petunia blinked.

She blinked again.

Then she sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Okay. Okay. Can we move to saner topics please? I feel like I’ve had enough of the... of the weird here. Please?”

“Well, I suppose we could talk about more normal topics,” Pandora allowed, shrugging a bit. “Xeno, how were classes this year? Astronomy seemed a bit tense, lots of bad omens written in the stars in the last few months.”

“...Sounds ominous,” Petunia couldn’t help but comment.

“Well, there is an entire civil war happening,” Xenophilius commented idly, swirling around his butterbeer in his mug. “Lots of bad omens seem to be coming true as of late- honestly, it’s a wonder that Hogsmeade is even still functional at the moment, but I suppose it’s too close to Hogwarts to mount a proper offensive, even for Death Eaters.”

"What kind of name is Death Eater?" Petunia demanded. "Please don't tell me necrophilia is a thing around here..." 

“I think it’s some kind of misguided attempt at sounding scary or something,” Pandora shrugged, making a so-so motion with her hand. “Anyway, enough talk about such terrible things- it’s Yuletide, we should be doing as the muggles do- and that, my dear friends, is get  _ drunk and fuck!” _

Fortunately, Pandora’s utteration was lost in the murmurs of the crowd despite her volume, else the four young adults would have garnered far more attention than they did- which is to say, a few stray looks, and not much else.

“We  _ do not _ do that!” Petunia protested.

“Well, I mean, that’s only because we decided to try and visit Lily this year instead,” Sachiel pointed out dryly, taking the wind out of Petunia’s sails in an instant. “I’m pretty sure that if we’d stayed home, the only thing we would have done is eat, get drunk, and fuck on every flat surface in the apartment until the sun came up.”

“Funnily enough, wizards tend to do much the same- or at least, so I’ve heard,” Xenophilius deadpanned.

Petunia just buried her face in her hands.


End file.
